As you Like it
(First
Folio)
by William
Shakespeare
Actus primus. Scoena Prima.
Enter Orlando and Adam.
Orlando. As I remember Adam, it was vpon this fashion
bequeathed me
by will, but poore a thousand
Crownes, and as thou saist, charged my
brother
on his blessing to breed mee well: and
there begins my sadnesse:
My brother Iaques he keepes
at schoole, and report speakes goldenly of his
profit:
for my part, he keepes me rustically at home, or (to speak
more
properly) staies me heere at home vnkept: for call
you that keeping for a
gentleman of my birth, that differs
not from the stalling of an Oxe? his
horses are bred
better, for besides that they are faire with their
feeding,
they are taught their mannage, and to that end Riders
deerely
hir'd: but I (his brother) gaine nothing vnder
him but growth, for the which
his Animals on his
dunghils are as much bound to him as I: besides this
nothing
that he so plentifully giues me, the something that
nature gaue
mee, his countenance seemes to take from
me: hee lets mee feede with his
Hindes, barres mee the
place of a brother, and as much as in him lies, mines
my
gentility with my education. This is it Adam that
grieues me, and the
spirit of my Father, which I thinke
is within mee, begins to mutinie against
this seruitude.
I will no longer endure it, though yet I know no
wise
remedy how to auoid it.
Enter Oliuer.
Adam. Yonder comes my Master, your brother
Orlan. Goe a-part Adam, and thou shalt heare how
he will
shake me vp
Oli. Now Sir, what make you heere?
Orl. Nothing: I am
not taught to make any thing
Oli. What mar you then sir?
Orl. Marry sir, I am
helping you to mar that which
God made, a poore vnworthy brother of yours
with
idlenesse
Oliuer. Marry sir be better employed, and be naught
a
while
Orlan. Shall I keepe your hogs, and eat huskes with
them?
what prodigall portion haue I spent, that I should
come to such
penury?
Oli. Know you where you are sir?
Orl. O sir, very
well: heere in your Orchard
Oli. Know you before whom sir?
Orl. I, better then him
I am before knowes mee: I
know you are my eldest brother, and in the gentle
condition
of bloud you should so know me: the courtesie of
nations allowes
you my better, in that you are the first
borne, but the same tradition takes
not away my bloud,
were there twenty brothers betwixt vs: I haue as
much
of my father in mee, as you, albeit I confesse your comming
before me
is neerer to his reuerence
Oli. What Boy
Orl. Come, come elder brother, you are too yong in this
Oli. Wilt thou lay hands on me villaine?
Orl. I am no
villaine: I am the yongest sonne of Sir
Rowland de Boys, he was my father,
and he is thrice a villaine
that saies such a father begot villaines: wert
thou
not my brother, I would not take this hand from thy
throat, till this
other had puld out thy tongue for saying
so, thou hast raild on thy selfe
Adam. Sweet Masters bee patient, for your
Fathers
remembrance, be at accord
Oli. Let me goe I say
Orl. I will not till I please: you shall heare mee: my
father
charg'd you in his will to giue me good education:
you haue train'd me like a
pezant, obscuring and
hiding from me all gentleman-like qualities: the
spirit
of my father growes strong in mee, and I will no longer
endure it:
therefore allow me such exercises as may become
a gentleman, or giue mee the
poore allottery my
father left me by testament, with that I will goe buy
my
fortunes
Oli. And what wilt thou do? beg when that is spent?
Well sir,
get you in. I will not long be troubled with
you: you shall haue some part of
your will, I pray you
leaue me
Orl. I will no further offend you, then becomes mee
for my
good
Oli. Get you with him, you olde dogge
Adam. Is old dogge my reward: most true, I haue
lost my teeth
in your seruice: God be with my olde master,
he would not haue spoke such a
word.
Ex. Orl. Ad.
Oli. Is it euen so, begin you to grow vpon me? I will
physicke your
ranckenesse, and yet giue no thousand
crownes neyther: holla Dennis.
Enter
Dennis.
Den. Calls your worship?
Oli. Was not Charles the Dukes
Wrastler heere to
speake with me?
Den. So please you, he is heere
at the doore, and importunes
accesse to you
Oli. Call him in: 'twill be a good way: and to morrow
the
wrastling is.
Enter Charles.
Cha. Good morrow to your worship
Oli. Good Mounsier Charles: what's the new newes
at the new
Court?
Charles. There's no newes at the Court Sir, but the
olde
newes: that is, the old Duke is banished by his yonger
brother the new Duke,
and three or foure louing
Lords haue put themselues into voluntary exile
with
him, whose lands and reuenues enrich the new Duke,
therefore he giues
them good leaue to wander
Oli. Can you tell if Rosalind the Dukes daughter bee
banished
with her Father?
Cha. O no; for the Dukes daughter her Cosen
so
loues her, being euer from their Cradles bred together,
that hee would
haue followed her exile, or haue died to
stay behind her; she is at the
Court, and no lesse beloued
of her Vncle, then his owne daughter, and neuer
two Ladies
loued as they doe
Oli. Where will the old Duke liue?
Cha. They say hee
is already in the Forrest of Arden,
and a many merry men with him; and there
they liue
like the old Robin Hood of England: they say many yong
Gentlemen
flocke to him euery day, and fleet the time
carelesly as they did in the
golden world
Oli. What, you wrastle to morrow before the new
Duke
Cha. Marry doe I sir: and I came to acquaint you
with a
matter: I am giuen sir secretly to vnderstand, that
your yonger brother
Orlando hath a disposition to come
in disguis'd against mee to try a fall: to
morrow sir I
wrastle for my credit, and hee that escapes me without
some
broken limbe, shall acquit him well: your brother
is but young and tender,
and for your loue I would bee
loth to foyle him, as I must for my owne honour
if hee
come in: therefore out of my loue to you, I came hither
to acquaint
you withall, that either you might stay him
from his intendment, or brooke
such disgrace well as he
shall runne into, in that it is a thing of his owne
search,
and altogether against my will
Oli. Charles , I thanke thee for thy loue to me, which
thou
shalt finde I will most kindly requite: I had my
selfe notice of my Brothers
purpose heerein, and haue by
vnder-hand meanes laboured to disswade him from
it;
but he is resolute. Ile tell thee Charles, it is the stubbornest
yong
fellow of France, full of ambition, an enuious
emulator of euery mans good
parts, a secret & villanous
contriuer against mee his naturall brother:
therefore vse
thy discretion, I had as liefe thou didst breake his
necke
as his finger. And thou wert best looke to't; for if thou
dost him
any slight disgrace, or if hee doe not mightilie
grace himselfe on thee, hee
will practise against thee by
poyson, entrap thee by some treacherous deuise,
and neuer
leaue thee till he hath tane thy life by some indirect
meanes or
other: for I assure thee, (and almost with
teares I speake it) there is not
one so young, and so villanous
this day liuing. I speake but brotherly of
him,
but should I anathomize him to thee, as hee is, I must
blush, and
weepe, and thou must looke pale and
wonder
Cha. I am heartily glad I came hither to you: if hee
come to
morrow, Ile giue him his payment: if euer hee
goe alone againe, Ile neuer
wrastle for prize more: and
so God keepe your worship.
Enter.
Farewell good Charles. Now will I stirre this Gamester:
I hope I shall see
an end of him; for my soule (yet
I know not why) hates nothing more then he:
yet hee's
gentle, neuer school'd, and yet learned, full of noble
deuise,
of all sorts enchantingly beloued, and indeed
so much in the heart of the
world, and especially of my
owne people, who best know him, that I am
altogether
misprised: but it shall not be so long, this wrastler
shall
cleare all: nothing remaines, but that I kindle the boy
thither,
which now Ile goe about.
Enter.
Scoena Secunda.
Enter Rosalind, and Cellia.
Cel. I pray thee Rosalind, sweet my Coz, be merry
Ros. Deere Cellia; I show more mirth then I am mistresse
of,
and would you yet were merrier: vnlesse you
could teach me to forget a
banished father, you must not
learne mee how to remember any extraordinary
pleasure
Cel. Heerein I see thou lou'st mee not with the full
waight
that I loue thee; if my Vncle thy banished father
had banished thy Vncle the
Duke my Father, so thou
hadst beene still with mee, I could haue taught my
loue
to take thy father for mine; so wouldst thou, if the truth
of thy
loue to me were so righteously temper'd, as mine
is to thee
Ros. Well, I will forget the condition of my estate,
to
reioyce in yours
Cel. You know my Father hath no childe, but I, nor
none is
like to haue; and truely when he dies, thou shalt
be his heire; for what hee
hath taken away from thy father
perforce, I will render thee againe in
affection: by
mine honor I will, and when I breake that oath, let
mee
turne monster: therefore my sweet Rose, my deare Rose,
be merry
Ros. From henceforth I will Coz, and deuise sports:
let me
see, what thinke you of falling in Loue?
Cel. Marry I prethee doe, to
make sport withall: but
loue no man in good earnest, nor no further in sport
neyther,
then with safety of a pure blush, thou maist in honor
come off
againe
Ros. What shall be our sport then?
Cel. Let vs sit and
mocke the good houswife Fortune
from her wheele, that her gifts may
henceforth bee
bestowed equally
Ros. I would wee could doe so: for her benefits are
mightily
misplaced, and the bountifull blinde woman
doth most mistake in her gifts to
women
Cel. 'Tis true, for those that she makes faire, she
scarce
makes honest, & those that she makes honest, she makes
very
illfauouredly
Ros. Nay now thou goest from Fortunes office to
Natures:
Fortune reignes in gifts of the world, not in the
lineaments of
Nature.
Enter Clowne.
Cel. No; when Nature hath made a faire creature,
may she not by
Fortune fall into the fire? though nature
hath giuen vs wit to flout at
Fortune, hath not Fortune
sent in this foole to cut off the
argument?
Ros. Indeed there is fortune too hard for nature,
when
fortune makes natures naturall, the cutter off of natures
witte
Cel. Peraduenture this is not Fortunes work neither,
but
Natures, who perceiueth our naturall wits too dull
to reason of such
goddesses, hath sent this Naturall for
our whetstone: for alwaies the
dulnesse of the foole, is
the whetstone of the wits. How now Witte,
whether
wander you?
Clow. Mistresse, you must come away to your
father
Cel. Were you made the messenger?
Clo. No by mine
honor, but I was bid to come for you
Ros. Where learned you that oath
foole?
Clo. Of a certaine Knight, that swore by his Honour
they
were good Pan-cakes, and swore by his Honor the
Mustard was naught: Now Ile
stand to it, the Pancakes
were naught, and the Mustard was good, and yet
was
not the Knight forsworne
Cel. How proue you that in the great heape of
your
knowledge?
Ros. I marry, now vnmuzzle your wisedome
Clo. Stand you both forth now: stroke your chinnes,
and
sweare by your beards that I am a knaue
Cel. By our beards (if we had them) thou art
Clo. By my knauerie (if I had it) then I were: but if
you
sweare by that that is not, you are not forsworn: no
more was this knight
swearing by his Honor, for he neuer
had anie; or if he had, he had sworne it
away, before
euer he saw those Pancakes, or that Mustard
Cel. Prethee, who is't that thou means't?
Clo. One
that old Fredericke your Father loues
Ros. My Fathers loue is enough to honor him enough;
speake no
more of him, you'l be whipt for taxation one
of these daies
Clo. The more pittie that fooles may not speak wisely,
what
Wisemen do foolishly
Cel. By my troth thou saiest true: For, since the little
wit
that fooles haue was silenced, the little foolerie that
wise men haue makes a
great shew; Heere comes Monsieur
the Beu.
Enter le Beau.
Ros. With his mouth full of newes
Cel. Which he will put on vs, as Pigeons feed their
young
Ros. Then shal we be newes-cram'd
Cel. All the better: we shalbe the more Marketable.
Boon-iour
Monsieur le Beu, what's the newes?
Le Beu. Faire Princesse,
you
haue lost much good sport
Cel. Sport: of what colour?
Le Beu. What colour
Madame? How shall I aunswer
you?
Ros. As wit and fortune will
Clo. Or as the destinies decrees
Cel. Well said, that was laid on with a trowell
Clo. Nay, if I keepe not my ranke
Ros. Thou loosest thy old smell
Le Beu. You amaze me Ladies: I would haue told
you of good
wrastling, which you haue lost the sight of
Ros. Yet tell vs the manner of the Wrastling
Le Beu. I wil tell you the beginning: and if it please
your
Ladiships, you may see the end, for the best is yet
to doe, and heere where
you are, they are comming to
performe it
Cel. Well, the beginning that is dead and buried
Le Beu. There comes an old man, and his three sons
Cel. I could match this beginning with an old tale
Le Beu. Three proper yong men, of excellent growth
and
presence
Ros. With bils on their neckes: Be it knowne vnto
all men by
these presents
Le Beu. The eldest of the three, wrastled with Charles
the
Dukes Wrastler, which Charles in a moment threw
him, and broke three of his
ribbes, that there is little
hope of life in him: So he seru'd the second,
and so the
third: yonder they lie, the poore old man their Father,
making
such pittiful dole ouer them, that all the beholders
take his part with
weeping
Ros. Alas
Clo. But what is the sport Monsieur, that the Ladies
haue
lost?
Le Beu. Why this that I speake of
Clo. Thus men may grow wiser euery day. It is the
first time
that euer I heard breaking of ribbes was sport
for Ladies
Cel. Or I, I promise thee
Ros. But is there any else longs to see this broken
Musicke
in his sides? Is there yet another doates vpon
rib-breaking? Shall we see
this wrastling Cosin?
Le Beu. You must if you stay heere, for heere is
the
place appointed for the wrastling, and they are ready to
performe
it
Cel. Yonder sure they are comming. Let vs now stay
and see
it.
Flourish. Enter Duke, Lords, Orlando, Charles, and Attendants.
Duke. Come on, since the youth will not be intreated
His owne
perill on his forwardnesse
Ros. Is yonder the man?
Le Beu. Euen he, Madam
Cel. Alas, he is too yong: yet he looks successefully
Du. How now daughter, and Cousin:
Are you crept hither to see the
wrastling?
Ros. I my Liege, so please you giue vs leaue
Du. You wil take little delight in it, I can tell you
there
is such oddes in the man: In pitie of the challengers
youth, I would faine
disswade him, but he will not
bee entreated. Speake to him Ladies, see if you
can
mooue him
Cel. Call him hether good Monsieuer Le Beu
Duke. Do so: Ile not be by
Le Beu. Monsieur the Challenger, the Princesse cals
for
you
Orl. I attend them with all respect and dutie
Ros. Young man, haue you challeng'd Charles
the
Wrastler?
Orl. No faire Princesse: he is the generall
challenger,
I come but in as others do, to try with him the strength
of my
youth
Cel. Yong Gentleman, your spirits are too bold for
your
yeares: you haue seene cruell proofe of this mans
strength, if you saw your
selfe with your eies, or knew
your selfe with your iudgment, the feare of
your aduenture
would counsel you to a more equall enterprise. We
pray you
for your owne sake to embrace your own safetie,
and giue ouer this
attempt
Ros. Do yong Sir, your reputation shall not therefore
be
misprised: we wil make it our suite to the Duke, that
the wrastling might not
go forward
Orl. I beseech you, punish mee not with your harde
thoughts,
wherein I confesse me much guiltie to denie
so faire and excellent Ladies
anie thing. But let your
faire eies, and gentle wishes go with mee to my
triall;
wherein if I bee foil'd, there is but one sham'd that was
neuer
gracious: if kil'd, but one dead that is willing to
be so: I shall do my
friends no wrong, for I haue none to
lament me: the world no iniurie, for in
it I haue nothing:
onely in the world I fil vp a place, which may bee
better
supplied, when I haue made it emptie
Ros. The little strength that I haue, I would it were
with
you
Cel. And mine to eeke out hers
Ros. Fare you well: praie heauen I be deceiu'd in you
Cel. Your hearts desires be with you
Char. Come, where is this yong gallant, that is so
desirous
to lie with his mother earth?
Orl. Readie Sir, but his will hath in it
a more modest
working
Duk. You shall trie but one fall
Cha. No, I warrant your Grace you shall not entreat
him to a
second, that haue so mightilie perswaded him
from a first
Orl. You meane to mocke me after: you should not
haue mockt
me before: but come your waies
Ros. Now Hercules, be thy speede yong man
Cel. I would I were inuisible, to catch the strong fellow
by
the legge.
Wrastle.
Ros. Oh excellent yong man
Cel. If I had a thunderbolt in mine eie, I can tell
who
should downe.
Shout.
Duk. No more, no more
Orl. Yes I beseech your Grace, I am not yet well
breath'd
Duk. How do'st thou Charles?
Le Beu. He cannot speake
my Lord
Duk. Beare him awaie:
What is thy name yong man?
Orl. Orlando my Liege, the yongest sonne of Sir Roland
de Boys
Duk. I would thou hadst beene son to some man else,
The world
esteem'd thy father honourable,
But I did finde him still mine
enemie:
Thou should'st haue better pleas'd me with this deede,
Hadst thou
descended from another house:
But fare thee well, thou art a gallant
youth,
I would thou had'st told me of another Father.
Exit Duke.
Cel. Were I my Father (Coze) would I do this?
Orl. I am more
proud to be Sir Rolands sonne,
His yongest sonne, and would not change that
calling
To be adopted heire to Fredricke
Ros. My Father lou'd Sir Roland as his soule,
And all the
world was of my Fathers minde,
Had I before knowne this yong man his
sonne,
I should haue giuen him teares vnto entreaties,
Ere he should thus
haue ventur'd
Cel. Gentle Cosen,
Let vs goe thanke him, and encourage
him:
My Fathers rough and enuious disposition
Sticks me at heart: Sir, you
haue well deseru'd,
If you doe keepe your promises in loue;
But iustly as
you haue exceeded all promise,
Your Mistris shall be happie
Ros. Gentleman,
Weare this for me: one out of suites with
fortune
That could giue more, but that her hand lacks meanes.
Shall we goe
Coze?
Cel. I: fare you well faire Gentleman
Orl. Can I not say, I thanke you? My better parts
Are all
throwne downe, and that which here stands vp
Is but a quintine, a meere
liuelesse blocke
Ros. He cals vs back: my pride fell with my fortunes,
Ile
aske him what he would: Did you call Sir?
Sir, you haue wrastled well, and
ouerthrowne
More then your enemies
Cel. Will you goe Coze?
Ros. Haue with you: fare you
well.
Enter.
Orl. What passion hangs these waights vpo[n] my toong?
I cannot
speake to her, yet she vrg'd conference.
Enter Le Beu.
O poore Orlando! thou art ouerthrowne
Or Charles, or something weaker
masters thee
Le Beu. Good Sir, I do in friendship counsaile you
To leaue
this place; Albeit you haue deseru'd
High commendation, true applause, and
loue;
Yet such is now the Dukes condition,
That he misconsters all that
you haue done:
The Duke is humorous, what he is indeede
More suites you to
conceiue, then I to speake of
Orl. I thanke you Sir; and pray you tell me this,
Which of
the two was daughter of the Duke,
That here was at the Wrastling?
Le Beu. Neither his daughter, if we iudge by manners,
But yet indeede the
taller is his daughter,
The other is daughter to the banish'd Duke,
And
here detain'd by her vsurping Vncle
To keepe his daughter companie, whose
loues
Are deerer then the naturall bond of Sisters:
But I can tell you,
that of late this Duke
Hath tane displeasure 'gainst his gentle
Neece,
Grounded vpon no other argument,
But that the people praise her for
her vertues,
And pittie her, for her good Fathers sake;
And on my life his
malice 'gainst the Lady
Will sodainly breake forth: Sir, fare you
well,
Hereafter in a better world then this,
I shall desire more loue and
knowledge of you
Orl. I rest much bounden to you: fare you well.
Thus must I
from the smoake into the smother,
From tyrant Duke, vnto a tyrant
Brother.
But heauenly Rosaline.
Exit
Scena Tertius.
Enter Celia and Rosaline.
Cel. Why Cosen, why Rosaline: Cupid haue mercie,
Not a
word?
Ros. Not one to throw at a dog
Cel. No, thy words are too precious to be cast away
vpon
curs, throw some of them at me; come lame mee
with reasons
Ros. Then there were two Cosens laid vp, when the
one should
be lam'd with reasons, and the other mad
without any
Cel. But is all this for your Father?
Ros. No, some of
it is for my childes Father: Oh
how full of briers is this working day
world
Cel. They are but burs, Cosen, throwne vpon thee
in holiday
foolerie, if we walke not in the trodden paths
our very petty-coates will
catch them
Ros. I could shake them off my coate, these burs are
in my
heart
Cel. Hem them away
Ros. I would try if I could cry hem, and haue him
Cel. Come, come, wrastle with thy affections
Ros. O they take the part of a better wrastler then
my
selfe
Cel. O, a good wish vpon you: you will trie in time
in
dispight of a fall: but turning these iests out of seruice,
let vs talke in
good earnest: Is it possible on such a sodaine,
you should fall into so
strong a liking with old Sir
Roulands yongest sonne?
Ros. The Duke
my Father lou'd his Father deerelie
Cel. Doth it therefore ensue that you should loue his
Sonne
deerelie? By this kinde of chase, I should hate
him, for my father hated his
father deerely; yet I hate
not Orlando
Ros. No faith, hate him not for my sake
Cel. Why should I not? doth he not deserue well?
Enter Duke
with Lords.
Ros. Let me loue him for that, and do you loue him
Because I doe.
Looke, here comes the Duke
Cel. With his eies full of anger
Duk. Mistris, dispatch you with your safest haste,
And get
you from our Court
Ros. Me Vncle
Duk. You Cosen,
Within these ten daies if that thou beest
found
So neere our publike Court as twentie miles,
Thou diest for it
Ros. I doe beseech your Grace
Let me the knowledge of my
fault beare with me:
If with my selfe I hold intelligence,
Or haue
acquaintance with mine owne desires,
If that I doe not dreame, or be not
franticke,
(As I doe trust I am not) then deere Vncle,
Neuer so much as in
a thought vnborne,
Did I offend your highnesse
Duk. Thus doe all Traitors,
If their purgation did consist in
words,
They are as innocent as grace it selfe;
Let is suffice thee that I
trust thee not
Ros. Yet your mistrust cannot make me a Traitor;
Tell me
whereon the likelihoods depends?
Duk. Thou art thy Fathers daughter,
there's enough
Ros. So was I when your highnes took his Dukdome,
So was I
when your highnesse banisht him;
Treason is not inherited my Lord,
Or if
we did deriue it from our friends,
What's that to me, my Father was no
Traitor,
Then good my Leige, mistake me not so much,
To thinke my pouertie
is treacherous
Cel. Deere Soueraigne heare me speake
Duk. I Celia, we staid her for your sake,
Else had she with
her Father rang'd along
Cel. I did not then intreat to haue her stay,
It was your
pleasure, and your owne remorse,
I was too yong that time to value
her,
But now I know her: if she be a Traitor,
Why so am I: we still haue
slept together,
Rose at an instant, learn'd, plaid, eate together,
And
wheresoere we went, like Iunos Swans,
Still we went coupled and
inseperable
Duk. She is too subtile for thee, and her smoothnes;
Her
verie silence, and her patience,
Speake to the people, and they pittie
her:
Thou art a foole, she robs thee of thy name,
And thou wilt show more
bright, & seem more vertuous
When she is gone: then open not thy
lips
Firme, and irreuocable is my doombe,
Which I haue past vpon her, she
is banish'd
Cel. Pronounce that sentence then on me my Leige,
I cannot
liue out of her companie
Duk. You are a foole: you Neice prouide your selfe,
If you
out-stay the time, vpon mine honor,
And in the greatnesse of my word you
die.
Exit Duke, &c.
Cel. O my poore Rosaline, whether wilt thou goe?
Wilt thou change
Fathers? I will giue thee mine:
I charge thee be not thou more grieu'd then I
am
Ros. I haue more cause
Cel. Thou hast not Cosen,
Prethee be cheerefull; know'st thou
not the Duke
Hath banish'd me his daughter?
Ros. That he hath
not
Cel. No, hath not? Rosaline lacks then the loue
Which
teacheth thee that thou and I am one,
Shall we be sundred? shall we part
sweete girle?
No, let my Father seeke another heire:
Therefore deuise with
me how we may flie
Whether to goe, and what to beare with vs,
And doe not
seeke to take your change vpon you,
To beare your griefes your selfe, and
leaue me out:
For by this heauen, now at our sorrowes pale;
Say what thou
canst, Ile goe along with thee
Ros. Why, whether shall we goe?
Cel. To seeke my Vncle
in the Forrest of Arden
Ros. Alas, what danger will it be to vs,
(Maides as we are)
to trauell forth so farre?
Beautie prouoketh theeues sooner then gold
Cel. Ile put my selfe in poore and meane attire,
And with a
kinde of vmber smirch my face,
The like doe you, so shall we passe
along,
And neuer stir assailants
Ros. Were it not better,
Because that I am more then common
tall,
That I did suite me all points like a man,
A gallant curtelax vpon
my thigh,
A bore-speare in my hand, and in my heart
Lye there what hidden
womans feare there will,
Weele haue a swashing and a marshall outside,
As
manie other mannish cowards haue,
That doe outface it with their
semblances
Cel. What shall I call thee when thou art a man?
Ros.
Ile haue no worse a name then Ioues owne Page,
And therefore looke you call
me Ganimed.
But what will you be call'd?
Cel. Something that hath a
reference to my state:
No longer Celia, but Aliena
Ros. But Cosen, what if we assaid to steale
The clownish
Foole out of your Fathers Court:
Would he not be a comfort to our
trauaile?
Cel. Heele goe along ore the wide world with me,
Leaue me
alone to woe him; Let's away
And get our Iewels and our wealth
together,
Deuise the fittest time, and safest way
To hide vs from pursuite
that will be made
After my flight: now goe in we content
To libertie, and
not to banishment.
Exeunt.
Actus Secundus. Scoena Prima.
Enter Duke Senior: Amyens, and two or three Lords like
Forresters.
Duk.Sen. Now my Coe-mates, and brothers in exile:
Hath not old
custome made this life more sweete
Then that of painted pompe? Are not these
woods
More free from perill then the enuious Court?
Heere feele we not the
penaltie of Adam,
The seasons difference, as the Icie phange
And churlish
chiding of the winters winde,
Which when it bites and blowes vpon my
body
Euen till I shrinke with cold, I smile, and say
This is no flattery:
these are counsellors
That feelingly perswade me what I am:
Sweet are the
vses of aduersitie
Which like the toad, ougly and venemous,
Weares yet a
precious Iewell in his head:
And this our life exempt from publike
haunt,
Findes tongues in trees, bookes in the running brookes,
Sermons in
stones, and good in euery thing
Amien. I would not change it, happy is your Grace
That can
translate the stubbornnesse of fortune
Into so quiet and so sweet a stile
Du.Sen. Come, shall we goe and kill vs venison?
And yet it
irkes me the poore dapled fooles
Being natiue Burgers of this desert
City,
Should in their owne confines with forked heads
Haue their round
hanches goard
1.Lord. Indeed my Lord
The melancholy Iaques grieues at
that,
And in that kinde sweares you doe more vsurpe
Then doth your brother
that hath banish'd you:
To day my Lord of Amiens, and my selfe,
Did steale
behinde him as he lay along
Vnder an oake, whose anticke roote peepes
out
Vpon the brooke that brawles along this wood,
To the which place a
poore sequestred Stag
That from the Hunters aime had tane a hurt,
Did come
to languish; and indeed my Lord
The wretched annimall heau'd forth such
groanes
That their discharge did stretch his leatherne coat
Almost to
bursting, and the big round teares
Cours'd one another downe his innocent
nose
In pitteous chase: and thus the hairie foole,
Much marked of the
melancholie Iaques,
Stood on th' extremest verge of the swift
brooke,
Augmenting it with teares
Du.Sen. But what said Iaques?
Did he not moralize this
spectacle?
1.Lord. O yes, into a thousand similies.
First, for his
weeping into the needlesse streame;
Poore Deere quoth he, thou mak'st a
testament
As worldlings doe, giuing thy sum of more
To that which had too
much: then being there alone,
Left and abandoned of his veluet
friend;
'Tis right quoth he, thus miserie doth part
The Fluxe of companie:
anon a carelesse Heard
Full of the pasture, iumps along by him
And neuer
staies to greet him: I quoth Iaques,
Sweepe on you fat and greazie
Citizens,
'Tis iust the fashion; wherefore doe you looke
Vpon that poore
and broken bankrupt there?
Thus most inuectiuely he pierceth through
The
body of Countrie, Citie, Court,
Yea, and of this our life, swearing that
we
Are meere vsurpers, tyrants, and whats worse
To fright the Annimals,
and to kill them vp
In their assign'd and natiue dwelling place
D.Sen. And did you leaue him in this contemplation?
2.Lord. We did my Lord, weeping and commenting
Vpon the sobbing Deere
Du.Sen. Show me the place,
I loue to cope him in these sullen
fits,
For then he's full of matter
1.Lor. Ile bring you to him strait.
Exeunt.
Scena Secunda.
Enter Duke, with Lords.
Duk. Can it be possible that no man saw them?
It cannot be, some
villaines of my Court
Are of consent and sufferance in this
1.Lo. I cannot heare of any that did see her,
The Ladies her
attendants of her chamber
Saw her a bed, and in the morning early,
They
found the bed vntreasur'd of their Mistris
2.Lor. My Lord, the roynish Clown, at whom so oft,
Your Grace
was wont to laugh is also missing,
Hisperia the Princesse
Gentlewoman
Confesses that she secretly ore-heard
Your daughter and her
Cosen much commend
The parts and graces of the Wrastler
That did but
lately foile the synowie Charles,
And she beleeues where euer they are
gone
That youth is surely in their companie
Duk. Send to his brother, fetch that gallant hither,
If he be
absent, bring his Brother to me,
Ile make him finde him: do this
sodainly;
And let not search and inquisition quaile,
To bring againe these
foolish runawaies.
Exeunt.
Scena Tertia.
Enter Orlando and Adam.
Orl. Who's there?
Ad. What my yong Master, oh my gentle
master,
Oh my sweet master, O you memorie
Of old Sir Rowland; why, what
make you here?
Why are you vertuous? Why do people loue you?
And wherefore
are you gentle, strong, and valiant?
Why would you be so fond to
ouercome
The bonnie priser of the humorous Duke?
Your praise is come too
swiftly home before you.
Know you not Master, to seeme kinde of men,
Their
graces serue them but as enemies,
No more doe yours: your vertues gentle
Master
Are sanctified and holy traitors to you:
Oh what a world is this,
when what is comely
Enuenoms him that beares it?
Why, what's the
matter?
Ad. O vnhappie youth,
Come not within these doores: within
this roofe
The enemie of all your graces liues
Your brother, no, no
brother, yet the sonne
(Yet not the son, I will not call him son)
Of him I
was about to call his Father,
Hath heard your praises, and this night he
meanes,
To burne the lodging where you vse to lye,
And you within it: if
he faile of that
He will haue other meanes to cut you off;
I ouerheard
him: and his practises:
This is no place, this house is but a
butcherie;
Abhorre it, feare it, doe not enter it
Ad. Why whether Adam would'st thou haue me go?
Ad. No
matter whether, so you come not here
Orl. What, would'st thou haue me go & beg my food,
Or
with a base and boistrous Sword enforce
A theeuish liuing on the common
rode?
This I must do, or know not what to do:
Yet this I will not do, do
how I can,
I rather will subiect me to the malice
Of a diuerted blood, and
bloudie brother
Ad. But do not so: I haue fiue hundred Crownes,
The thriftie
hire I saued vnder your Father,
Which I did store to be my foster
Nurse,
When seruice should in my old limbs lie lame,
And vnregarded age in
corners throwne,
Take that, and he that doth the Rauens feede,
Yea
prouidently caters for the Sparrow,
Be comfort to my age: here is the
gold,
All this I giue you, let me be your seruant,
Though I looke old, yet
I am strong and lustie;
For in my youth I neuer did apply
Hot, and
rebellious liquors in my bloud,
Nor did not with vnbashfull forehead
woe,
The meanes of weaknesse and debilitie,
Therefore my age is as a
lustie winter,
Frostie, but kindely; let me goe with you,
Ile doe the
seruice of a yonger man
In all your businesse and necessities
Orl. Oh good old man, how well in thee appeares
The constant
seruice of the antique world,
When seruice sweate for dutie, not for
meede:
Thou art not for the fashion of these times,
Where none will
sweate, but for promotion,
And hauing that do choake their seruice
vp,
Euen with the hauing, it is not so with thee:
But poore old man, thou
prun'st a rotten tree,
That cannot so much as a blossome yeelde,
In lieu
of all thy paines and husbandrie,
But come thy waies, weele goe along
together,
And ere we haue thy youthfull wages spent,
Weele light vpon some
setled low content
Ad. Master goe on, and I will follow thee
To the last gaspe
with truth and loyaltie,
From seauentie yeeres, till now almost
fourescore
Here liued I, but now liue here no more
At seauenteene yeeres,
many their fortunes seeke
But at fourescore, it is too late a weeke,
Yet
fortune cannot recompence me better
Then to die well, and not my Masters
debter.
Exeunt.
Scena Quarta.
Enter Rosaline for Ganimed, Celia for Aliena, and Clowne,
alias
Touchstone.
Ros. O Iupiter, how merry are my spirits?
Clo. I care not
for my spirits, if my legges were not
wearie
Ros. I could finde in my heart to disgrace my mans
apparell,
and to cry like a woman: but I must comfort
the weaker vessell, as doublet
and hose ought to show it
selfe coragious to petty-coate; therefore courage,
good
Aliena
Cel. I pray you beare with me, I cannot goe no further
Clo. For my part, I had rather beare with you, then
beare
you: yet I should beare no crosse if I did beare
you, for I thinke you haue
no money in your purse
Ros. Well, this is the Forrest of Arden
Clo. I, now am I in Arden, the more foole I, when I
was at
home I was in a better place, but Trauellers must
be content.
Enter Corin
and Siluius.
Ros. I, be so good Touchstone: Look you, who comes
here, a yong man
and an old in solemne talke
Cor. That is the way to make her scorne you still
Sil. Oh Corin, that thou knew'st how I do loue her
Cor. I partly guesse: for I haue lou'd ere now
Sil. No Corin, being old, thou canst not guesse,
Though in
thy youth thou wast as true a louer
As euer sigh'd vpon a midnight
pillow:
But if thy loue were euer like to mine,
As sure I thinke did neuer
man loue so:
How many actions most ridiculous,
Hast thou beene drawne to
by thy fantasie?
Cor. Into a thousand that I haue forgotten
Sil. Oh thou didst then neuer loue so hartily,
If thou
remembrest not the slightest folly,
That euer loue did make thee run
into,
Thou hast not lou'd.
Or if thou hast not sat as I doe
now,
Wearing thy hearer in thy Mistris praise,
Thou hast not lou'd.
Or
if thou hast not broke from companie,
Abruptly as my passion now makes
me,
Thou hast not lou'd.
O Phebe, Phebe, Phebe.
Enter.
Ros. Alas poore Shepheard searching of they would,
I haue by hard
aduenture found mine owne
Clo. And I mine: I remember when I was in loue, I
broke my
sword vpon a stone, and bid him take that for
comming a night to Iane Smile,
and I remember the kissing
of her batler, and the Cowes dugs that her
prettie
chopt hands had milk'd; and I remember the wooing
of a peascod
instead of her, from whom I tooke two
cods, and giuing her them againe, said
with weeping
teares, weare these for my sake: wee that are true
Louers,
runne into strange capers; but as all is mortall in
nature, so is
all nature in loue, mortall in folly
Ros. Thou speak'st wiser then thou art ware of
Clo. Nay, I shall nere be ware of mine owne wit, till
I
breake my shins against it
Ros. Ioue, Ioue, this Shepherds passion,
Is much vpon my
fashion
Clo. And mine, but it growes something stale with
mee
Cel. I pray you, one of you question yon'd man,
If he for
gold will giue vs any foode,
I faint almost to death
Clo. Holla; you Clowne
Ros. Peace foole, he's not thy kinsman
Cor. Who cals?
Clo. Your betters Sir
Cor. Else are they very wretched
Ros. Peace I say; good euen to your friend
Cor. And to you gentle Sir, and to you all
Ros. I prethee Shepheard, if that loue or gold
Can in this
desert place buy entertainment,
Bring vs where we may rest our selues, and
feed:
Here's a yong maid with trauaile much oppressed,
And faints for
succour
Cor. Faire Sir, I pittie her,
And wish for her sake more then
for mine owne,
My fortunes were more able to releeue her:
But I am
shepheard to another man,
And do not sheere the Fleeces that I graze:
My
master is of churlish disposition,
And little wreakes to finde the way to
heauen
By doing deeds of hospitalitie.
Besides his Coate, his Flockes, and
bounds of feede
Are now on sale, and at our sheep-coat now
By reason of
his absence there is nothing
That you will feed on: but what is, come
see,
And in my voice most welcome shall you be
Ros. What is he that shall buy his flocke and pasture?
Cor. That yong Swaine that you saw heere but erewhile,
That little cares for
buying any thing
Ros. I pray thee, if it stand with honestie,
Buy thou the
Cottage, pasture, and the flocke,
And thou shalt haue to pay for it of vs
Cel. And we will mend thy wages:
I like this place, and
willingly could
Waste my time in it
Cor. Assuredly the thing is to be sold:
Go with me, if you
like vpon report,
The soile, the profit, and this kinde of life,
I will
your very faithfull Feeder be,
And buy it with your Gold right sodainly.
Exeunt.
Scena Quinta.
Enter, Amyens, Iaques, & others.
Song.
Vnder the greene wood tree,
who loues to lye with mee,
And turne his
merrie Note,
vnto the sweet Birds throte:
Come hither, come hither, come
hither:
Heere shall he see no enemie,
But Winter and rough Weather
Iaq. More, more, I pre'thee more
Amy. It will make you melancholly Monsieur Iaques
Iaq.
I thanke it: More, I prethee more,
I can sucke melancholly out of a
song,
As a Weazel suckes egges: More, I pre'thee more
Amy. My voice is ragged, I know I cannot please
you
Iaq. I do not desire you to please me,
I do desire you to
sing:
Come, more, another stanzo: Cal you 'em stanzo's?
Amy. What
you wil Monsieur Iaques
Iaq. Nay, I care not for their names, they owe mee
nothing.
Wil you sing?
Amy. More at your request, then to please my selfe
Iaq. Well then, if euer I thanke any man, Ile thanke
you: but
that they cal complement is like th' encounter
of two dog-Apes. And when a
man thankes me hartily,
me thinkes I haue giuen him a penie, and he renders
me
the beggerly thankes. Come sing; and you that wil not
hold your
tongues
Amy. Wel, Ile end the song. Sirs, couer the while,
the Duke
wil drinke vnder this tree; he hath bin all this
day to looke you
Iaq. And I haue bin all this day to auoid him:
He is too
disputeable for my companie:
I thinke of as many matters as he, but I
giue
Heauen thankes, and make no boast of them.
Come, warble, come.
Song. Altogether heere.
Who doth ambition shunne,
and loues to liue i'th Sunne:
Seeking the
food he eates,
and pleas'd with what he gets:
Come hither, come hither,
come hither,
Heere shall he see. &c
Iaq. Ile giue you a verse to this note,
That I made yesterday
in despight of my Inuention
Amy. And Ile sing it
Amy. Thus it goes.
If it do come to passe, that any man turne
Asse:
Leauing his wealth and ease,
A stubborne will to please,
Ducdame,
ducdame, ducdame:
Heere shall he see, grosse fooles as he,
And if he will
come to me
Amy. What's that Ducdame?
Iaq. 'Tis a Greeke
inuocation, to call fools into a circle.
Ile go sleepe if I can: if I cannot,
Ile raile against all
the first borne of Egypt
Amy. And Ile go seeke the Duke,
His banket is prepar'd.
Exeunt.
Scena Sexta.
Enter Orlando, & Adam
Adam. Deere Master, I can go no further:
O I die for food.
Heere lie I downe,
And measure out my graue. Farwel kinde master
Orl. Why how now Adam? No greater heart in thee:
Liue a
little, comfort a little, cheere thy selfe a little.
If this vncouth Forrest
yeeld any thing sauage,
I wil either be food for it, or bring it for foode to
thee:
Thy conceite is neerer death, then thy powers.
For my sake be
comfortable, hold death a while
At the armes end: I wil heere be with thee
presently,
And if I bring thee not something to eate,
I wil giue thee
leaue to die: but if thou diest
Before I come, thou art a mocker of my
labor.
Wel said, thou look'st cheerely,
And Ile be with thee quickly: yet
thou liest
In the bleake aire. Come, I wil beare thee
To some shelter, and
thou shalt not die
For lacke of a dinner,
If there liue any thing in this
Desert.
Cheerely good Adam.
Exeunt.
Scena Septima.
Enter Duke Sen. & Lord, like Out-lawes.
Du.Sen. I thinke he be transform'd into a beast,
For I can no where
finde him, like a man
1.Lord. My Lord, he is but euen now gone hence,
Heere was he
merry, hearing of a Song
Du.Sen. If he compact of iarres, grow Musicall,
We shall haue
shortly discord in the Spheares:
Go seeke him, tell him I would speake with
him.
Enter Iaques.
1.Lord. He saues my labor by his owne approach
Du.Sen. Why how now Monsieur, what a life is this
That your
poore friends must woe your companie,
What, you looke merrily
Iaq. A Foole, a foole: I met a foole i'th Forrest,
A motley
Foole (a miserable world:)
As I do liue by foode, I met a foole,
Who laid
him downe, and bask'd him in the Sun,
And rail'd on Lady Fortune in good
termes,
In good set termes, and yet a motley foole.
Good morrow foole
(quoth I:) no Sir, quoth he,
Call me not foole, till heauen hath sent me
fortune,
And then he drew a diall from his poake,
And looking on it, with
lacke-lustre eye,
Sayes, very wisely, it is ten a clocke:
Thus we may see
(quoth he) how the world wagges:
'Tis but an houre agoe, since it was
nine,
And after one houre more, 'twill be eleuen,
And so from houre to
houre, we ripe, and ripe,
And then from houre to houre, we rot, and
rot,
And thereby hangs a tale. When I did heare
The motley Foole, thus
morall on the time,
My Lungs began to crow like Chanticleere,
That Fooles
should be so deepe contemplatiue:
And I did laugh, sans intermission
An
houre by his diall. Oh noble foole,
A worthy foole: Motley's the onely
weare
Du.Sen. What foole is this?
Iaq. O worthie Foole: One
that hath bin a Courtier
And sayes, if Ladies be but yong, and faire,
They
haue the gift to know it: and in his braine,
Which is as drie as the
remainder bisket
After a voyage: He hath strange places cram'd
With
obseruation, the which he vents
In mangled formes. O that I were a
foole,
I am ambitious for a motley coat
Du.Sen. Thou shalt haue one
Iaq. It is my onely suite,
Prouided that you weed your better
iudgements
Of all opinion that growes ranke in them,
That I am wise. I
must haue liberty
Withall, as large a Charter as the winde,
To blow on
whom I please, for so fooles haue:
And they that are most gauled with my
folly,
They most must laugh: And why sir must they so?
The why is plaine,
as way to Parish Church:
Hee, that a Foole doth very wisely hit,
Doth very
foolishly, although he smart
Seeme senselesse of the bob. If not,
The
Wise-mans folly is anathomiz'd
Euen by the squandring glances of the
foole.
Inuest me in my motley: Giue me leaue
To speake my minde, and I
will through and through
Cleanse the foule bodie of th' infected world,
If
they will patiently receiue my medicine
Du.Sen. Fie on thee. I can tell what thou wouldst do
Iaq. What, for a Counter, would I do, but good?
Du.Sen. Most mischeeuous foule sin, in chiding sin:
For thou thy selfe hast
bene a Libertine,
As sensuall as the brutish sting it selfe,
And all th'
imbossed sores, and headed euils,
That thou with license of free foot hast
caught,
Would'st thou disgorge into the generall world
Iaq. Why who cries out on pride,
That can therein taxe any
priuate party:
Doth it not flow as hugely as the Sea,
Till that the wearie
verie meanes do ebbe.
What woman in the Citie do I name,
When that I say
the City woman beares
The cost of Princes on vnworthy shoulders?
Who can
come in, and say that I meane her,
When such a one as shee, such is her
neighbor?
Or what is he of basest function,
That sayes his brauerie is not
on my cost,
Thinking that I meane him, but therein suites
His folly to the
mettle of my speech,
There then, how then, what then, let me see
wherein
My tongue hath wrong'd him: if it do him right,
Then he hath
wrong'd himselfe: if he be free,
Why then my taxing like a wild-goose
flies
Vnclaim'd of any man. But who come here?
Enter Orlando.
Orl. Forbeare, and eate no more
Iaq. Why I haue eate none yet
Orl. Nor shalt not, till necessity be seru'd
Iaq. Of what kinde should this Cocke come of?
Du.Sen.
Art thou thus bolden'd man by thy distres?
Or else a rude despiser of good
manners,
That in ciuility thou seem'st so emptie?
Orl. You touch'd
my veine at first, the thorny point
Of bare distresse, hath tane from me the
shew
Of smooth ciuility: yet am I in-land bred,
And know some nourture:
But forbeare, I say,
He dies that touches any of this fruite,
Till I, and
my affaires are answered
Iaq. And you will not be answer'd with reason,
I must dye
Du.Sen. What would you haue?
Your gentlenesse shall force,
more then your force
Moue vs to gentlenesse
Orl. I almost die for food, and let me haue it
Du.Sen. Sit downe and feed, & welcom to our table
Orl. Speake you so gently? Pardon me I pray you,
I thought that all things
had bin sauage heere,
And therefore put I on the countenance
Of sterne
command'ment. But what ere you are
That in this desert inaccessible,
Vnder
the shade of melancholly boughes,
Loose, and neglect the creeping houres of
time:
If euer you haue look'd on better dayes:
If euer beene where bels
haue knoll'd to Church:
If euer sate at any good mans feast:
If euer from
your eye-lids wip'd a teare,
And know what 'tis to pittie, and be
pittied:
Let gentlenesse my strong enforcement be,
In the which hope, I
blush, and hide my Sword
Du.Sen. True is it, that we haue seene better dayes,
And haue
with holy bell bin knowld to Church,
And sat at good mens feasts, and wip'd
our eies
Of drops, that sacred pity hath engendred:
And therefore sit you
downe in gentlenesse,
And take vpon command, what helpe we haue
That to
your wanting may be ministred
Orl. Then but forbeare your food a little while:
Whiles (like
a Doe) I go to finde my Fawne,
And giue it food. There is an old poore
man,
Who after me, hath many a weary steppe
Limpt in pure loue: till he be
first suffic'd,
Opprest with two weake euils, age, and hunger,
I will not
touch a bit
Duke Sen. Go finde him out,
And we will nothing waste till
you returne
Orl. I thanke ye, and be blest for your good comfort
Du.Sen. Thou seest, we are not all alone vnhappie:
This wide
and vniuersall Theater
Presents more wofull Pageants then the
Sceane
Wherein we play in
Ia. All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women,
meerely Players;
They haue their Exits and their Entrances,
And one man in
his time playes many parts,
His Acts being seuen ages. At first the
Infant,
Mewling, and puking in the Nurses armes:
Then, the whining
Schoole-boy with his Satchell
And shining morning face, creeping like
snaile
Vnwillingly to schoole. And then the Louer,
Sighing like Furnace,
with a wofull ballad
Made to his Mistresse eye-brow. Then, a Soldier,
Full
of strange oaths, and bearded like the Pard,
Ielous in honor, sodaine, and
quicke in quarrell,
Seeking the bubble Reputation
Euen in the Canons
mouth: And then, the Iustice
In faire round belly, with good Capon
lin'd,
With eyes seuere, and beard of formall cut,
Full of wise sawes, and
moderne instances,
And so he playes his part. The sixt age shifts
Into the
leane and slipper'd Pantaloone,
With spectacles on nose, and pouch on
side,
His youthfull hose well sau'd, a world too wide,
For his shrunke
shanke, and his bigge manly voice,
Turning againe toward childish trebble
pipes,
And whistles in his sound. Last Scene of all,
That ends this
strange euentfull historie,
Is second childishnesse, and meere
obliuion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans euery thing.
Enter
Orlando with Adam.
Du.Sen. Welcome: set downe your venerable burthen,
and let him
feede
Orl. I thanke you most for him
Ad. So had you neede,
I scarce can speake to thanke you for
my selfe
Du.Sen. Welcome, fall too: I wil not trouble you,
As yet to
question you about your fortunes:
Giue vs some Musicke, and good Cozen,
sing.
Song.
Blow, blow, thou winter winde,
Thou art not so vnkinde, as mans
ingratitude
Thy tooth is not so keene, because thou art not
seene,
although thy breath be rude.
Heigh ho, sing heigh ho, vnto the
greene holly,
Most frendship, is fayning; most Louing, meere folly:
The
heigh ho, the holly,
This Life is most iolly.
Freize, freize, thou bitter
skie that dost not bight so nigh
as benefitts forgot:
Though thou the
waters warpe, thy sting is not so sharpe,
as freind remembred not.
Heigh
ho, sing, &c
Duke Sen. If that you were the good Sir Rowlands son,
As you
haue whisper'd faithfully you were,
And as mine eye doth his effigies
witnesse,
Most truly limn'd, and liuing in your face,
Be truly welcome
hither: I am the Duke
That lou'd your Father, the residue of your
fortune,
Go to my Caue, and tell mee. Good old man,
Thou art right
welcome, as thy masters is:
Support him by the arme: giue me your
hand,
And let me all your fortunes vnderstand.
Exeunt.
Actus Tertius. Scena Prima.
Enter Duke, Lords, & Oliuer.
Du. Not see him since? Sir, sir, that cannot be:
But were I not the
better part made mercie,
I should not seeke an absent argument
Of my
reuenge, thou present: but looke to it,
Finde out thy brother wheresoere he
is,
Seeke him with Candle: bring him dead, or liuing
Within this
tweluemonth, or turne thou no more
To seeke a liuing in our
Territorie.
Thy Lands and all things that thou dost call thine,
Worth
seizure, do we seize into our hands,
Till thou canst quit thee by thy
brothers mouth,
Of what we thinke against thee
Ol. Oh that your Highnesse knew my heart in this:
I neuer
lou'd my brother in my life
Duke. More villaine thou. Well push him out of dores
And let
my officers of such a nature
Make an extent vpon his house and Lands:
Do
this expediently, and turne him going.
Exeunt.
Scena Secunda.
Enter Orlando.
Orl. Hang there my verse, in witnesse of my loue,
And thou thrice
crowned Queene of night suruey
With thy chaste eye, from thy pale spheare
aboue
Thy Huntresse name, that my full life doth sway.
O Rosalind, these
Trees shall be my Bookes,
And in their barkes my thoughts Ile
charracter,
That euerie eye, which in this Forrest lookes,
Shall see thy
vertue witnest euery where.
Run, run Orlando, carue on euery Tree,
The
faire, the chaste, and vnexpressiue shee.
Exit
Enter Corin & Clowne.
Co. And how like you this shepherds life Mr Touchstone?
Clow. Truely Shepheard, in respect of it selfe, it is a
good life; but in
respect that it is a shepheards life, it is
naught. In respect that it is
solitary, I like it verie well:
but in respect that it is priuate, it is a
very vild life. Now
in respect it is in the fields, it pleaseth mee well: but
in
respect it is not in the Court, it is tedious. As it is a spare
life
(looke you) it fits my humor well: but as there is no
more plentie in it, it
goes much against my stomacke.
Has't any Philosophie in thee
shepheard?
Cor. No more, but that I know the more one sickens,
the
worse at ease he is: and that hee that wants money,
meanes, and content, is
without three good frends. That
the propertie of raine is to wet, and fire to
burne: That
good pasture makes fat sheepe: and that a great cause of
the
night, is lacke of the Sunne: That hee that hath learned
no wit by Nature,
nor Art, may complaine of good
breeding, or comes of a very dull kindred
Clo. Such a one is a naturall Philosopher:
Was't euer in
Court, Shepheard?
Cor. No truly
Clo. Then thou art damn'd
Cor. Nay, I hope
Clo. Truly thou art damn'd, like an ill roasted Egge,
all on
one side
Cor. For not being at Court? your reason
Clo. Why, if thou neuer was't at Court, thou neuer
saw'st
good manners: if thou neuer saw'st good maners,
then thy manners must be
wicked, and wickednes is sin,
and sinne is damnation: Thou art in a parlous
state shepheard
Cor. Not a whit Touchstone, those that are good maners
at the
Court, are as ridiculous in the Countrey, as
the behauiour of the Countrie is
most mockeable at the
Court. You told me, you salute not at the Court,
but
you kisse your hands; that courtesie would be vncleanlie
if Courtiers
were shepheards
Clo. Instance, briefly: come, instance
Cor. Why we are still handling our Ewes, and their
Fels you
know are greasie
Clo. Why do not your Courtiers hands sweate? and
is not the
grease of a Mutton, as wholesome as the sweat
of a man? Shallow, shallow: A
better instance I say:
Come
Cor. Besides, our hands are hard
Clo. Your lips wil feele them the sooner. Shallow agen:
a
more sounder instance, come
Cor. And they are often tarr'd ouer, with the surgery
of our
sheepe: and would you haue vs kisse Tarre? The
Courtiers hands are perfum'd
with Ciuet
Clo. Most shallow man: Thou wormes meate in respect
of a good
peece of flesh indeed: learne of the wise
and perpend: Ciuet is of a baser
birth then Tarre, the
verie vncleanly fluxe of a Cat. Mend the instance
Shepheard
Cor. You haue too Courtly a wit, for me, Ile rest
Clo. Wilt thou rest damn'd? God helpe thee shallow
man: God
make incision in thee, thou art raw
Cor. Sir, I am a true Labourer, I earne that I eate: get
that
I weare; owe no man hate, enuie no mans happinesse:
glad of other mens good
content with my harme:
and the greatest of my pride, is to see my Ewes graze,
&
my Lambes sucke
Clo. That is another simple sinne in you, to bring the
Ewes
and the Rammes together, and to offer to get your
liuing, by the copulation
of Cattle, to be bawd to a Belweather,
and to betray a shee-Lambe of a
tweluemonth
to a crooked-pated olde Cuckoldly Ramme, out of all
reasonable
match. If thou bee'st not damn'd for this, the
diuell himselfe will haue no
shepherds, I cannot see else
how thou shouldst scape
Cor. Heere comes yong Mr Ganimed, my new
Mistrisses
Brother.
Enter Rosalind
Ros. From the east to westerne Inde,
no iewel is like
Rosalinde,
Hir worth being mounted on the winde,
through all the world
beares Rosalinde.
All the pictures fairest Linde,
are but blacke to
Rosalinde:
Let no face bee kept in mind,
but the faire of Rosalinde
Clo. Ile rime you so, eight yeares together; dinners,
and
suppers, and sleeping hours excepted: it is the right
Butter-womens ranke to
Market
Ros. Out Foole
Clo. For a taste.
If a Hart doe lacke a Hinde,
Let him
seeke out Rosalinde:
If the Cat will after kinde,
so be sure will
Rosalinde:
Wintred garments must be linde,
so must slender
Rosalinde:
They that reap must sheafe and binde,
then to cart with
Rosalinde.
Sweetest nut, hath sowrest rinde,
such a nut is
Rosalinde.
He that sweetest rose will finde,
must finde Loues pricke,
& Rosalinde.
This is the verie false gallop of Verses, why doe you
infect
your selfe with them?
Ros. Peace you dull foole, I found
them on a tree
Clo. Truely the tree yeelds bad fruite
Ros. Ile graffe it with you, and then I shall graffe it
with
a Medler: then it will be the earliest fruit i'th country:
for you'l be
rotten ere you bee halfe ripe, and that's
the right vertue of the Medler
Clo. You haue said: but whether wisely or no, let the
Forrest
iudge.
Enter Celia with a writing.
Ros. Peace, here comes my sister reading, stand aside
Cel. Why should this Desert bee,
for it is vnpeopled?
Noe:
Tonges Ile hang on euerie tree,
that shall ciuill sayings
shoe.
Some, how briefe the Life of man
runs his erring pilgrimage,
That
the stretching of a span,
buckles in his summe of age.
Some of violated
vowes,
twixt the soules of friend, and friend:
But vpon the fairest
bowes,
or at euerie sentence end;
Will I Rosalinda write,
teaching all
that reade, to know
The quintessence of euerie sprite,
heauen would in
little show.
Therefore heauen Nature charg'd,
that one bodie should be
fill'd
With all Graces wide enlarg'd,
nature presently distill'd
Helens
cheeke, but not his heart,
Cleopatra's Maiestie:
Attalanta's better
part,
sad Lucrecia's Modestie.
Thus Rosalinde of manie parts,
by
Heauenly Synode was deuis'd,
Of manie faces, eyes, and hearts,
to haue the
touches deerest pris'd.
Heauen would that shee these gifts should
haue,
and I to liue and die her slaue
Ros. O most gentle Iupiter, what tedious homilie of
Loue haue
you wearied your parishioners withall, and
neuer cri'de, haue patience good
people
Cel. How now backe friends: Shepheard, go off a little:
go
with him sirrah
Clo. Come Shepheard, let vs make an honorable retreit,
though
not with bagge and baggage, yet with
scrip and scrippage.
Enter.
Cel. Didst thou heare these verses?
Ros. O yes, I heard them
all, and more too, for some
of them had in them more feete then the Verses
would
beare
Cel. That's no matter: the feet might beare y verses
Ros. I, but the feet were lame, and could not
beare
themselues without the verse, and therefore stood lamely
in the
verse
Cel. But didst thou heare without wondering, how
thy name
should be hang'd and carued vpon these trees?
Ros. I was seuen of the
nine daies out of the wonder,
before you came: for looke heere what I found
on a
Palme tree; I was neuer so berim'd since Pythagoras time
that I was
an Irish Rat, which I can hardly remember
Cel. Tro you, who hath done this?
Ros. Is it a
man?
Cel. And a chaine that you once wore about his neck:
change
you colour?
Ros. I pre'thee who?
Cel. O Lord, Lord, it is a
hard matter for friends to
meete; but Mountaines may bee remoou'd with
Earthquakes,
and so encounter
Ros. Nay, but who is it?
Cel. Is it
possible?
Ros. Nay, I pre'thee now, with most petitionary
vehemence,
tell me who it is
Cel. O wonderfull, wonderfull, and most
wonderfull
wonderfull, and yet againe wonderful, and after that out
of all
hooping
Ros. Good my complection, dost thou think though
I am
caparison'd like a man, I haue a doublet and hose in
my disposition? One inch
of delay more, is a South-sea
of discouerie. I pre'thee tell me, who is it
quickely, and
speake apace: I would thou couldst stammer, that
thou
might'st powre this conceal'd man out of thy mouth, as
Wine comes out
of a narrow-mouth'd bottle: either too
much at once, or none at all. I
pre'thee take the Corke
out of thy mouth, that I may drinke thy tydings
Cel. So you may put a man in your belly
Ros. Is he of Gods making? What manner of man?
Is his head
worth a hat? Or his chin worth a beard?
Cel. Nay, he hath but a little
beard
Ros. Why God will send more, if the man will bee
thankful:
let me stay the growth of his beard, if thou
delay me not the knowledge of
his chin
Cel. It is yong Orlando, that tript vp the Wrastlers
heeles,
and your heart, both in an instant
Ros. Nay, but the diuell take mocking: speake sadde
brow, and
true maid
Cel. I'faith (Coz) tis he
Ros. Orlando?
Cel. Orlando
Ros. Alas the day, what shall I do with my doublet
&
hose? What did he when thou saw'st him? What sayde
he? How look'd
he? Wherein went he? What makes hee
heere? Did he aske for me? Where remaines
he? How
parted he with thee? And when shalt thou see him againe?
Answer me
in one word
Cel. You must borrow me Gargantuas mouth first:
'tis a Word
too great for any mouth of this Ages size, to
say I and no, to these
particulars, is more then to answer
in a Catechisme
Ros. But doth he know that I am in this Forrest, and
in mans
apparrell? Looks he as freshly, as he did the day
he Wrastled?
Cel.
It is as easie to count Atomies as to resolue the
propositions of a Louer:
but take a taste of my finding
him, and rellish it with good obseruance. I
found him
vnder a tree like a drop'd Acorne
Ros. It may wel be cal'd Ioues tree, when it droppes
forth
fruite
Cel. Giue me audience, good Madam
Ros. Proceed
Cel. There lay hee stretch'd along like a Wounded
knight
Ros. Though it be pittie to see such a sight, it well
becomes
the ground
Cel. Cry holla, to the tongue, I prethee: it
curuettes
vnseasonably. He was furnish'd like a Hunter
Ros. O ominous, he comes to kill my Hart
Cel. I would sing my song without a burthen, thou
bring'st me
out of tune
Ros. Do you not know I am a woman, when I thinke,
I must
speake: sweet, say on.
Enter Orlando & Iaques.
Cel. You bring me out. Soft, comes he not heere?
Ros. 'Tis
he, slinke by, and note him
Iaq. I thanke you for your company, but good faith
I had as
liefe haue beene my selfe alone
Orl. And so had I: but yet for fashion sake
I thanke you too,
for your societie
Iaq. God buy you, let's meet as little as we can
Orl. I do desire we may be better strangers
Iaq. I pray you marre no more trees with Writing
Loue-songs
in their barkes
Orl. I pray you marre no moe of my verses with reading
them
ill-fauouredly
Iaq. Rosalinde is your loues name?
Orl. Yes, Iust
Iaq. I do not like her name
Orl. There was no thought of pleasing you when she
was
christen'd
Iaq. What stature is she of?
Orl. Iust as high as my
heart
Iaq. You are ful of prety answers: haue you not bin
acquainted
with goldsmiths wiues, & cond the[m] out of rings
Orl. Not so: but I answer you right painted cloath,
from whence you haue
studied your questions
Iaq. You haue a nimble wit; I thinke 'twas made
of
Attalanta's heeles. Will you sitte downe with me, and
wee two, will
raile against our Mistris the world, and all
our miserie
Orl. I wil chide no breather in the world but my
selfe
against whom I know most faults
Iaq. The worst fault you haue, is to be in loue
Orl. 'Tis a fault I will not change, for your best vertue:
I
am wearie of you
Iaq. By my troth, I was seeking for a Foole, when I
found
you
Orl. He is drown'd in the brooke, looke but in, and
you shall
see him
Iaq. There I shal see mine owne figure
Orl. Which I take to be either a foole, or a Cipher
Iaq. Ile tarrie no longer with you, farewell good
signior
Loue
Orl. I am glad of your departure: Adieu good
Monsieur
Melancholly
Ros. I wil speake to him like a sawcie Lacky, and vnder
that
habit play the knaue with him, do you hear Forrester
Orl. Verie wel, what would you?
Ros. I pray you, what
i'st a clocke?
Orl. You should aske me what time o' day: there's
no
clocke in the Forrest
Ros. Then there is no true Louer in the Forrest, else
sighing
euerie minute, and groaning euerie houre wold
detect the lazie foot of time,
as wel as a clocke
Orl. And why not the swift foote of time? Had not
that bin as
proper?
Ros. By no meanes sir; Time trauels in diuers paces,
with
diuers persons: Ile tel you who Time ambles withall,
who Time trots withal,
who Time gallops withal,
and who he stands stil withall
Orl. I prethee, who doth he trot withal?
Ros. Marry he
trots hard with a yong maid, between
the contract of her marriage, and the
day it is solemnizd:
if the interim be but a sennight, Times pace is so
hard,
that it seemes the length of seuen yeare
Orl. Who ambles Time withal?
Ros. With a Priest that
lacks Latine, and a rich man
that hath not the Gowt: for the one sleepes
easily because
he cannot study, and the other liues merrily, because
he
feeles no paine: the one lacking the burthen of
leane and wasteful Learning;
the other knowing no burthen
of heauie tedious penurie. These Time
ambles
withal
Orl. Who doth he gallop withal?
Ros. With a theefe to
the gallowes: for though hee
go as softly as foot can fall, he thinkes
himselfe too soon
there
Orl. Who staies it stil withal?
Ros. With Lawiers in
the vacation: for they sleepe
betweene Terme and Terme, and then they
perceiue not
how time moues
Orl. Where dwel you prettie youth?
Ros. With this
Shepheardesse my sister: heere in the
skirts of the Forrest, like fringe vpon
a petticoat
Orl. Are you natiue of this place?
Ros. As the Conie
that you see dwell where shee is
kindled
Orl. Your accent is something finer, then you could
purchase
in so remoued a dwelling
Ros. I haue bin told so of many: but indeed, an
olde
religious Vnckle of mine taught me to speake, who was
in his youth an
inland man, one that knew Courtship too
well: for there he fel in loue. I
haue heard him read many
Lectors against it, and I thanke God, I am not a
Woman
to be touch'd with so many giddie offences as hee
hath generally
tax'd their whole sex withal
Orl. Can you remember any of the principall euils,
that he
laid to the charge of women?
Ros. There were none principal, they were
all like
one another, as halfepence are, euerie one fault
seeming
monstrous, til his fellow-fault came to match it
Orl. I prethee recount some of them
Ros. No: I wil not cast away my physick, but on those
that
are sicke. There is a man haunts the Forrest, that abuses
our yong plants
with caruing Rosalinde on their
barkes; hangs Oades vpon Hauthornes, and
Elegies on
brambles; all (forsooth) defying the name of Rosalinde.
If I
could meet that Fancie-monger, I would giue him
some good counsel, for he
seemes to haue the Quotidian
of Loue vpon him
Orl. I am he that is so Loue-shak'd, I pray you tel
me your
remedie
Ros. There is none of my Vnckles markes vpon you:
he taught
me how to know a man in loue: in which cage
of rushes, I am sure you art not
prisoner
Orl. What were his markes?
Ros. A leane cheeke, which
you haue not: a blew eie
and sunken, which you haue not: an vnquestionable
spirit,
which you haue not: a beard neglected, which you
haue not: (but I
pardon you for that, for simply your hauing
in beard, is a yonger brothers
reuennew) then your
hose should be vngarter'd, your bonnet vnbanded,
your
sleeue vnbutton'd, your shoo vnti'de, and euerie thing
about you,
demonstrating a carelesse desolation: but you
are no such man; you are rather
point deuice in your
accoustrements,
as louing your selfe, then seeming
the Louer
of any other
Orl. Faire youth, I would I could make thee beleeue I Loue
Ros. Me beleeue it? You may assoone make her that
you Loue
beleeue it, which I warrant she is apter to do,
then to confesse she do's:
that is one of the points, in the
which women stil giue the lie to their
consciences. But
in good sooth, are you he that hangs the verses on
the
Trees, wherein Rosalind is so admired?
Orl. I sweare to thee
youth, by the white hand of
Rosalind, I am that he, that vnfortunate he
Ros. But are you so much in loue, as your rimes speak?
Orl. Neither rime nor reason can expresse how much
Ros. Loue is meerely a madnesse, and I tel you, deserues
as
wel a darke house, and a whip, as madmen do:
and the reason why they are not
so punish'd and cured, is
that the Lunacie is so ordinarie, that the whippers
are in
loue too: yet I professe curing it by counsel
Orl. Did you euer cure any so?
Ros. Yes one, and in
this manner. Hee was to imagine
me his Loue, his Mistris: and I set him
euerie day
to woe me. At which time would I, being but a moonish
youth,
greeue, be effeminate, changeable, longing, and
liking, proud, fantastical,
apish, shallow, inconstant, ful
of teares, full of smiles; for euerie passion
something, and
for no passion truly any thing, as boyes and women are
for
the most part, cattle of this colour: would now like
him, now loath him: then
entertaine him, then forswear
him: now weepe for him, then spit at him; that
I draue
my Sutor from his mad humor of loue, to a liuing humor
of madnes,
w was to forsweare the ful stream of y world,
and to liue in a nooke meerly
Monastick: and thus I cur'd
him, and this way wil I take vpon mee to wash
your Liuer
as cleane as a sound sheepes heart, that there shal not
be one
spot of Loue in't
Orl. I would not be cured, youth
Ros. I would cure you, if you would but call me Rosalind,
and
come euerie day to my Coat, and woe me
Orlan. Now by the faith of my loue, I will; Tel me
where it
is
Ros. Go with me to it, and Ile shew it you: and by
the way,
you shal tell me, where in the Forrest you liue:
Wil you go?
Orl.
With all my heart, good youth
Ros. Nay, you must call mee Rosalind: Come sister,
will you
go?
Exeunt.
Scoena Tertia.
Enter Clowne, Audrey, & Iaques.
Clo. Come apace good Audrey, I wil fetch vp your
Goates, Audrey:
and how Audrey am I the man yet?
Doth my simple feature content
you?
Aud. Your features, Lord warrant vs: what features?
Clo. I am heere with thee, and thy Goats, as the most
capricious Poet honest
Ouid was among the Gothes
Iaq. O knowledge ill inhabited, worse then Ioue in
a thatch'd
house
Clo. When a mans verses cannot be vnderstood, nor
a mans good
wit seconded with the forward childe, vnderstanding:
it strikes a man more
dead then a great reckoning
in a little roome: truly, I would the Gods
hadde
made thee poeticall
Aud. I do not know what Poetical is: is it honest in
deed and
word: is it a true thing?
Clo. No trulie: for the truest poetrie is
the most faining,
and Louers are giuen to Poetrie: and what they
sweare in
Poetrie, may be said as Louers, they do feigne
Aud. Do you wish then that the Gods had made
me
Poeticall?
Clow. I do truly: for thou swear'st to me thou art
honest:
Now if thou wert a Poet, I might haue some hope
thou didst
feigne
Aud. Would you not haue me honest?
Clo. No truly,
vnlesse thou wert hard fauour'd: for
honestie coupled to beautie, is to haue
Honie a sawce to
Sugar
Iaq. A materiall foole
Aud. Well, I am not faire, and therefore I pray the
Gods make
me honest
Clo. Truly, and to cast away honestie vppon a foule
slut,
were to put good meate into an vncleane dish
Aud. I am not a slut, though I thanke the Goddes I
am
foule
Clo. Well, praised be the Gods, for thy foulnesse;
sluttishnesse
may come heereafter. But be it, as it may bee,
I wil marrie
thee: and to that end, I haue bin with Sir
Oliuer Mar-text, the Vicar of the
next village, who hath
promis'd to meete me in this place of the Forrest, and
to
couple vs
Iaq. I would faine see this meeting
Aud. Wel, the Gods giue vs ioy
Clo. Amen. A man may if he were of a fearful heart,
stagger
in this attempt: for heere wee haue no Temple
but the wood, no assembly but
horne-beasts. But what
though? Courage. As hornes are odious, they are
necessarie.
It is said, many a man knowes no end of his goods;
right: Many
a man has good Hornes, and knows no end
of them. Well, that is the dowrie of
his wife, 'tis none
of his owne getting; hornes, euen so poore men
alone:
No, no, the noblest Deere hath them as huge as the Rascall:
Is the
single man therefore blessed? No, as a wall'd
Towne is more worthier then a
village, so is the forehead
of a married man, more honourable then the
bare
brow of a Batcheller: and by how much defence is better
then no
skill, by so much is a horne more precious
then to want.
Enter Sir Oliuer
Mar-text.
Heere comes Sir Oliuer: Sir Oliuer Mar-text you are
wel met. Will you
dispatch vs heere vnder this tree, or
shal we go with you to your
Chappell?
Ol. Is there none heere to giue the woman?
Clo. I
wil not take her on guift of any man
Ol. Truly she must be giuen, or the marriage is
not
lawfull
Iaq. Proceed, proceede: Ile giue her
Clo. Good euen good Mr what ye cal't: how do you
Sir, you are
verie well met: goddild you for your last
companie, I am verie glad to see
you, euen a toy in hand
heere Sir: Nay, pray be couer'd
Iaq. Wil you be married, Motley?
Clo. As the Oxe hath
his bow sir, the horse his curb,
and the Falcon her bels, so man hath his
desires, and as
Pigeons bill, so wedlocke would be nibling
Iaq. And wil you (being a man of your breeding) be
married
vnder a bush like a begger? Get you to church,
and haue a good Priest that
can tel you what marriage is,
this fellow wil but ioyne you together, as they
ioyne
Wainscot, then one of you wil proue a shrunke pannell,
and like
greene timber, warpe, warpe
Clo. I am not in the minde, but I were better to bee
married
of him then of another, for he is not like to marrie
me wel: and not being
wel married, it wil be a good
excuse for me heereafter, to leaue my wife
Iaq. Goe thou with mee,
And let me counsel thee
Ol. Come sweete Audrey,
We must be married, or we must liue
in baudrey:
Farewel good Mr Oliuer: Not O sweet Oliuer, O braue
Oliuer
leaue me not behind thee: But winde away, bee
gone I say, I wil not to
wedding with thee
Ol. 'Tis no matter; Ne're a fantastical knaue of them
all
shal flout me out of my calling.
Exeunt.
Scoena Quarta.
Enter Rosalind & Celia.
Ros. Neuer talke to me, I wil weepe
Cel. Do I prethee, but yet haue the grace to consider,
that
teares do not become a man
Ros. But haue I not cause to weepe?
Cel. As good cause
as one would desire,
Therefore weepe
Ros. His very haire
Is of the dissembling colour
Cel. Something browner then Iudasses:
Marrie his kisses are
Iudasses owne children
Ros. I'faith his haire is of a good colour
Cel. An excellent colour:
Your Chessenut was euer the onely
colour:
Ros. And his kissing is as ful of sanctitie,
As the touch
of holy bread
Cel. Hee hath bought a paire of cast lips of Diana: a
Nun of
winters sisterhood kisses not more religiouslie,
the very yce of chastity is
in them
Rosa. But why did hee sweare hee would come this
morning, and
comes not?
Cel. Nay certainly there is no truth in him
Ros. Doe you thinke so?
Cel. Yes, I thinke he is not a
picke purse, nor a horse-stealer,
but for his verity in loue, I doe thinke
him as
concaue as a couered goblet, or a Worme-eaten nut
Ros. Not true in loue?
Cel. Yes, when he is in, but I
thinke he is not in
Ros. You haue heard him sweare downright he was
Cel. Was, is not is: besides, the oath of Louer is
no
stronger then the word of a Tapster, they are both the
confirmer of
false reckonings, he attends here in the forrest
on the Duke your father
Ros. I met the Duke yesterday, and had much question
with
him: he askt me of what parentage I was; I
told him of as good as he, so he
laugh'd and let mee goe.
But what talke wee of Fathers, when there is such a
man
as Orlando?
Cel. O that's a braue man, hee writes braue
verses,
speakes braue words, sweares braue oathes, and breakes
them
brauely, quite trauers athwart the heart of his louer,
as a puisny Tilter, y
spurs his horse but on one side,
breakes his staffe like a noble goose; but
all's braue that
youth mounts, and folly guides: who comes heere?
Enter
Corin.
Corin. Mistresse and Master, you haue oft enquired
After the
Shepheard that complain'd of loue,
Who you saw sitting by me on the
Turph,
Praising the proud disdainfull Shepherdesse
That was his
Mistresse
Cel. Well: and what of him?
Cor. If you will see a
pageant truely plaid
Betweene the pale complexion of true Loue,
And the
red glowe of scorne and prowd disdaine,
Goe hence a little, and I shall
conduct you
If you will marke it
Ros. O come, let vs remoue,
The sight of Louers feedeth those
in loue:
Bring vs to this sight, and you shall say
Ile proue a busie actor
in their play.
Exeunt.
Scena Quinta.
Enter Siluius and Phebe.
Sil. Sweet Phebe doe not scorne me, do not Phebe
Say that you loue
me not, but say not so
In bitternesse; the common executioner
Whose heart
th' accustom'd sight of death makes hard
Falls not the axe vpon the humbled
neck,
But first begs pardon: will you sterner be
Then he that dies and
liues by bloody drops?
Enter Rosalind, Celia, and Corin.
Phe. I would not be thy executioner,
I flye thee, for I would not
iniure thee:
Thou tellst me there is murder in mine eye,
'Tis pretty sure,
and very probable,
That eyes that are the frailst, and softest things,
Who
shut their coward gates on atomyes,
Should be called tyrants, butchers,
murtherers.
Now I doe frowne on thee with all my heart,
And if mine eyes
can wound, now let them kill thee:
Now counterfeit to swound, why now fall
downe,
Or if thou canst not, oh for shame, for shame,
Lye not, to say mine
eyes are murtherers:
Now shew the wound mine eye hath made in
thee,
Scratch thee but with a pin, and there remaines
Some scarre of it:
Leane vpon a rush
The Cicatrice and capable impressure
Thy palme some
moment keepes: but now mine eyes
Which I haue darted at thee, hurt thee
not,
Nor I am sure there is no force in eyes
That can doe hurt
Sil. O deere Phebe,
If euer (as that euer may be
neere)
You meet in some fresh cheeke the power of fancie,
Then shall you
know the wounds inuisible
That Loues keene arrows make
Phe. But till that time
Come not thou neere me: and when that
time comes,
Afflict me with thy mockes, pitty me not,
As till that time I
shall not pitty thee
Ros. And why I pray you? who might be your mother
That you
insult, exult, and all at once
Ouer the wretched? what though you haue no
beauty
As by my faith, I see no more in you
Then without Candle may goe
darke to bed:
Must you be therefore prowd and pittilesse?
Why what meanes
this? why do you looke on me?
I see no more in you then in the ordinary
Of
Natures sale-worke? 'ods my little life,
I thinke she meanes to tangle my
eies too:
No faith proud Mistresse, hope not after it,
'Tis not your inkie
browes, your blacke silke haire,
Your bugle eye-balls, nor your cheeke of
creame
That can entame my spirits to your worship:
You foolish Shepheard,
wherefore do you follow her
Like foggy South, puffing with winde and
raine,
You are a thousand times a properer man
Then she a woman. 'Tis such
fooles as you
That makes the world full of ill-fauourd children:
'Tis not
her glasse, but you that flatters her,
And out of you she sees her selfe more
proper
Then any of her lineaments can show her:
But Mistris, know your
selfe, downe on your knees
And thanke heauen, fasting, for a good mans
loue;
For I must tell you friendly in your eare,
Sell when you can, you
are not for all markets:
Cry the man mercy, loue him, take his
offer,
Foule is most foule, being foule to be a scoffer.
So take her to
thee Shepheard, fareyouwell
Phe. Sweet youth, I pray you chide a yere together,
I had
rather here you chide, then this man wooe
Ros. Hees falne in loue with your foulnesse, &
shee'll
Fall in loue with my anger. If it be so, as fast
As she answeres
thee with frowning lookes, ile sauce
Her with bitter words: why looke you so
vpon me?
Phe. For no ill will I beare you
Ros. I pray you do not fall in loue with mee,
For I am falser
then vowes made in wine:
Besides, I like you not: if you will know my
house,
'Tis at the tufft of Oliues, here hard by:
Will you goe Sister?
Shepheard ply her hard:
Come Sister: Shepheardesse, looke on him
better
And be not proud, though all the world could see,
None could be so
abus'd in sight as hee.
Come, to our flocke,
Enter.
Phe. Dead Shepheard, now I find thy saw of might,
Who euer lov'd,
that lou'd not at first sight?
Sil. Sweet Phebe
Phe. Hah: what saist thou Siluius?
Sil. Sweet Phebe
pitty me
Phe. Why I am sorry for thee gentle Siluius
Sil. Where euer sorrow is, reliefe would be:
If you doe
sorrow at my griefe in loue,
By giuing loue your sorrow, and my
griefe
Were both extermin'd
Phe. Thou hast my loue, is not that neighbourly?
Sil.
I would haue you
Phe. Why that were couetousnesse:
Siluius; the time was, that
I hated thee;
And yet it is not, that I beare thee loue,
But since that
thou canst talke of loue so well,
Thy company, which erst was irkesome to
me
I will endure; and Ile employ thee too:
But doe not looke for further
recompence
Then thine owne gladnesse, that thou art employd
Sil. So holy, and so perfect is my loue,
And I in such a
pouerty of grace,
That I shall thinke it a most plenteous crop
To gleane
the broken eares after the man
That the maine haruest reapes: loose now and
then
A scattred smile, and that Ile liue vpon
Phe. Knowst thou the youth that spoke to mee
yerewhile?
Sil. Not very well, but I haue met him oft,
And he hath
bought the Cottage and the bounds
That the old Carlot once was Master of
Phe. Thinke not I loue him, though I ask for him,
'Tis but a
peeuish boy, yet he talkes well,
But what care I for words? yet words do
well
When he that speakes them pleases those that heare:
It is a pretty
youth, not very prettie,
But sure hee's proud, and yet his pride becomes
him;
Hee'll make a proper man: the best thing in him
Is his complexion:
and faster then his tongue
Did make offence, his eye did heale it vp:
He
is not very tall, yet for his yeeres hee's tall:
His leg is but so so, and
yet 'tis well:
There was a pretty rednesse in his lip,
A little riper, and
more lustie red
Then that mixt in his cheeke: 'twas iust the
difference
Betwixt the constant red, and mingled Damaske.
There be some
women Siluius, had they markt him
In parcells as I did, would haue gone
neere
To fall in loue with him: but for my part
I loue him not, nor hate
him not: and yet
Haue more cause to hate him then to loue him,
For what
had he to doe to chide at me?
He said mine eyes were black, and my haire
blacke,
And now I am remembred, scorn'd at me:
I maruell why I answer'd
not againe,
But that's all one: omittance is no quittance:
Ile write to
him a very tanting Letter,
And thou shalt beare it, wilt thou
Siluius?
Sil. Phebe, with all my heart
Phe. Ile write it strait:
The matter's in my head, and in my
heart,
I will be bitter with him, and passing short;
Goe with me
Siluius.
Exeunt.
Actus Quartus. Scena Prima.
Enter Rosalind, and Celia, and Iaques.
Iaq. I prethee, pretty youth, let me better acquainted
with
thee
Ros They say you are a melancholly fellow
Iaq. I am so: I doe loue it better then laughing
Ros. Those that are in extremity of either, are
abhominable
fellowes, and betray themselues to euery moderne
censure,
worse then drunkards
Iaq. Why, 'tis good to be sad and say nothing
Ros. Why then 'tis good to be a poste
Iaq. I haue neither the Schollers melancholy, which
is
emulation: nor the Musitians, which is fantasticall;
nor the Courtiers, which
is proud: nor the Souldiers,
which is ambitious: nor the Lawiers, which is
politick:
nor the Ladies, which is nice: nor the Louers, which
is all
these: but it is a melancholy of mine owne, compounded
of many simples,
extracted from many obiects,
and indeed the sundrie contemplation of my
trauells, in
which by often rumination, wraps me in a most
humorous
sadnesse
Ros. A Traueller: by my faith you haue great reason
to be
sad: I feare you haue sold your owne Lands,
to see other mens; then to haue
seene much, and to haue
nothing, is to haue rich eyes and poore hands
Iaq. Yes, I haue gain'd my experience.
Enter Orlando.
Ros. And your experience makes you sad: I had rather
haue a foole
to make me merrie, then experience to
make me sad, and to trauaile for it
too
Orl. Good day, and happinesse, deere Rosalind
Iaq. Nay then God buy you, and you talke in blanke
verse
Ros. Farewell Mounsieur Trauellor: looke you
lispe, and weare
strange suites; disable all the benefits
of your owne Countrie: be out of
loue with your
natiuitie, and almost chide God for making you
that
countenance you are; or I will scarce thinke you haue
swam in a
Gundello. Why how now Orlando, where
haue you bin all this while? you a
louer? and you
serue me such another tricke, neuer come in my
sight
more
Orl. My faire Rosalind, I come within an houre of
my
promise
Ros. Breake an houres promise in loue? hee that
will diuide a
minute into a thousand parts, and breake
but a part of the thousand part of a
minute in the affairs
of loue, it may be said of him that Cupid hath
clapt
him oth' shoulder, but Ile warrant him heart hole
Orl. Pardon me deere Rosalind
Ros. Nay, and you be so tardie, come no more in my
sight, I
had as liefe be woo'd of a Snaile
Orl. Of a Snaile?
Ros. I, of a Snaile: for though he
comes slowly, hee
carries his house on his head; a better ioyncture I
thinke
then you make a woman: besides, he brings his destinie
with him
Orl. What's that?
Ros. Why hornes: w such as you are
faine to be beholding
to your wiues for: but he comes armed in
his
fortune, and preuents the slander of his wife
Orl. Vertue is no horne-maker: and my Rosalind
is
vertuous
Ros. And I am your Rosalind
Cel. It pleases him to call you so: but he hath a Rosalind
of
a better leere then you
Ros. Come, wooe me, wooe mee: for now I am in a
holy-day
humor, and like enough to consent: What
would you say to me now, and I were
your verie, verie
Rosalind?
Orl. I would kisse before I spoke
Ros. Nay, you were better speake first, and when you
were
grauel'd, for lacke of matter, you might take occasion
to kisse: verie good
Orators when they are out,
they will spit, and for louers, lacking (God warne
vs)
matter, the cleanliest shift is to kisse
Orl. How if the kisse be denide?
Ros. Then she puts
you to entreatie, and there begins
new matter
Orl. Who could be out, being before his
beloued
Mistris?
Ros. Marrie that should you if I were your
Mistris,
or I should thinke my honestie ranker then my wit
Orl. What, of my suite?
Ros. Not out of your
apparrell, and yet out of your
suite:
Am not I your Rosalind?
Orl. I take some ioy to say you are, because I would
be talking of her
Ros. Well, in her person, I say I will not haue you
Orl. Then in mine owne person, I die
Ros. No faith, die by Attorney: the poore world is
almost six
thousand yeeres old, and in all this time there
was not anie man died in his
owne person (videlicet) in
a loue cause: Troilous had his braines dash'd out
with a
Grecian club, yet he did what hee could to die before,
and he is
one of the patternes of loue. Leander, he would
haue liu'd manie a faire
yeere though Hero had turn'd
Nun; if it had not bin for a hot Midsomer-night,
for
(good youth) he went but forth to wash him in the Hellespont,
and
being taken with the crampe, was droun'd,
and the foolish Chronoclers of that
age, found it was
Hero of Cestos. But these are all lies, men haue
died
from time to time, and wormes haue eaten them, but not
for loue
Orl. I would not haue my right Rosalind of this mind,
for I
protest her frowne might kill me
Ros. By this hand, it will not kill a flie: but come,
now I
will be your Rosalind in a more comming-on disposition:
and aske me what you
will, I will grant it
Orl. Then loue me Rosalind
Ros. Yes faith will I, fridaies and saterdaies, and all
Orl. And wilt thou haue me?
Ros. I, and twentie
such
Orl. What saiest thou?
Ros. Are you not
good?
Orl. I hope so
Rosalind. Why then, can one desire too much of a
good thing:
Come sister, you shall be the Priest, and
marrie vs: giue me your hand
Orlando: What doe you
say sister?
Orl. Pray thee marrie vs
Cel. I cannot say the words
Ros. You must begin, will you Orlando
Cel. Goe too: wil you Orlando, haue to wife this
Rosalind?
Orl. I will
Ros. I, but when?
Orl. Why now, as fast as she can
marrie vs
Ros. Then you must say, I take thee Rosalind for
wife
Orl. I take thee Rosalind for wife
Ros. I might aske you for your Commission,
But I doe take
thee Orlando for my husband: there's a
girle goes before the Priest, and
certainely a Womans
thought runs before her actions
Orl. So do all thoughts, they are wing'd
Ros. Now tell me how long you would haue her, after
you haue
possest her?
Orl. For euer, and a day
Ros. Say a day, without the euer: no, no Orlando, men
are
Aprill when they woe, December when they wed:
Maides are May when they are
maides, but the sky changes
when they are wiues: I will bee more iealous
of
thee, then a Barbary cocke-pidgeon ouer his hen, more
clamorous then a
Parrat against raine, more new-fangled
then an ape, more giddy in my desires,
then a monkey:
I will weepe for nothing, like Diana in the
Fountaine,
& I wil do that when you are dispos'd to be merry:
I will
laugh like a Hyen, and that when thou art inclin'd
to sleepe
Orl. But will my Rosalind doe so?
Ros. By my life, she
will doe as I doe
Orl. O but she is wise
Ros. Or else shee could not haue the wit to doe this:
the
wiser, the waywarder: make the doores vpon a womans
wit, and it will out at
the casement: shut that, and
'twill out at the key-hole: stop that, 'twill
flie with the
smoake out at the chimney
Orl. A man that had a wife with such a wit, he might
say, wit
whether wil't?
Ros. Nay, you might keepe that checke for it, till
you
met your wiues wit going to your neighbours bed
Orl. And what wit could wit haue, to excuse that?
Rosa. Marry to say, she came to seeke you there: you
shall neuer take her
without her answer, vnlesse you take
her without her tongue: o that woman
that cannot
make her fault her husbands occasion, let her neuer nurse
her
childe her selfe, for she will breed it like a foole
Orl. For these two houres Rosalinde, I wil leaue thee
Ros. Alas, deere loue, I cannot lacke thee two houres
Orl. I must attend the Duke at dinner, by two a clock
I will
be with thee againe
Ros. I, goe your waies, goe your waies: I knew what
you would
proue, my friends told mee as much, and I
thought no lesse: that flattering
tongue of yours wonne
me: 'tis but one cast away, and so come death: two
o'
clocke is your howre
Orl. I, sweet Rosalind
Ros. By my troth, and in good earnest, and so God
mend mee,
and by all pretty oathes that are not dangerous,
if you breake one iot of
your promise, or come one
minute behinde your houre, I will thinke you the
most
patheticall breake-promise, and the most hollow louer,
and the most
vnworthy of her you call Rosalinde, that
may bee chosen out of the grosse
band of the vnfaithfull:
therefore beware my censure, and keep your
promise
Orl. With no lesse religion, then if thou wert indeed
my
Rosalind: so adieu
Ros. Well, Time is the olde Iustice that examines all
such
offenders, and let time try: adieu.
Enter.
Cel. You haue simply misus'd our sexe in your loue-prate:
we must
haue your doublet and hose pluckt ouer
your head, and shew the world what the
bird hath done
to her owne neast
Ros. O coz, coz, coz: my pretty little coz, that thou
didst
know how many fathome deepe I am in loue: but
it cannot bee sounded: my
affection hath an vnknowne
bottome, like the Bay of Portugall
Cel. Or rather bottomlesse, that as fast as you
poure
affection in, it runs out
Ros. No, that same wicked Bastard of Venus, that was
begot of
thought, conceiu'd of spleene, and borne of
madnesse, that blinde rascally
boy, that abuses euery
ones eyes, because his owne are out, let him bee
iudge,
how deepe I am in loue: ile tell thee Aliena, I cannot be
out of
the sight of Orlando: Ile goe finde a shadow, and
sigh till he come
Cel. And Ile sleepe.
Exeunt.
Scena Secunda.
Enter Iaques and Lords, Forresters.
Iaq. Which is he that killed the Deare?
Lord. Sir, it was
I
Iaq. Let's present him to the Duke like a Romane
Conquerour,
and it would doe well to set the Deares
horns vpon his head, for a branch of
victory; haue you
no song Forrester for this purpose?
Lord. Yes
Sir
Iaq. Sing it: 'tis no matter how it bee in tune, so it
make
noyse enough.
Musicke, Song.
What shall he haue that kild the Deare?
His Leather skin, and hornes to
weare:
Then sing him home, the rest shall beare this burthen;
Take thou no
scorne to weare the horne,
It was a crest ere thou wast borne,
Thy fathers
father wore it,
And thy father bore it,
The horne, the horne, the lusty
horne,
Is not a thing to laugh to scorne.
Exeunt.
Scoena Tertia.
Enter Rosalind and Celia.
Ros. How say you now, is it not past two a clock?
And heere much
Orlando
Cel. I warrant you, with pure loue, & troubled
brain,
Enter Siluius.
He hath t'ane his bow and arrowes, and is gone forth
To sleepe: looke who
comes heere
Sil. My errand is to you, faire youth,
My gentle Phebe, did
bid me giue you this:
I know not the contents, but as I guesse
By the
sterne brow, and waspish action
Which she did vse, as she was writing of
it,
It beares an angry tenure; pardon me,
I am but as a guiltlesse
messenger
Ros. Patience her selfe would startle at this letter,
And
play the swaggerer, beare this, beare all:
Shee saies I am not faire, that I
lacke manners,
She calls me proud, and that she could not loue me
Were man
as rare as Phenix: 'od's my will,
Her loue is not the Hare that I doe
hunt,
Why writes she so to me? well Shepheard, well,
This is a Letter of
your owne deuice
Sil. No, I protest, I know not the contents,
Phebe did write
it
Ros. Come, come, you are a foole,
And turn'd into the
extremity of loue.
I saw her hand, she has a leatherne hand,
A freestone
coloured hand: I verily did thinke
That her old gloues were on, but twas her
hands:
She has a huswiues hand, but that's no matter:
I say she neuer did
inuent this letter,
This is a mans inuention, and his hand
Sil. Sure it is hers
Ros. Why, tis a boysterous and a cruell stile,
A stile for
challengers: why, she defies me,
Like Turke to Christian: womens gentle
braine
Could not drop forth such giant rude inuention,
Such Ethiop words,
blacker in their effect
Then in their countenance: will you heare the
letter?
Sil. So please you, for I neuer heard it yet:
Yet heard too
much of Phebes crueltie
Ros. She Phebes me: marke how the tyrant writes.
Read.
Art thou god, to Shepherd turn'd?
That a maidens heart hath burn'd.
Can
a woman raile thus?
Sil. Call you this railing?
Ros.
Read.
Why, thy godhead laid a part,
War'st thou with a womans heart?
Did you
euer heare such railing?
Whiles the eye of man did wooe me,
That could do
no vengeance to me.
Meaning me a beast.
If the scorne of your bright
eine
Haue power to raise such loue in mine,
Alacke, in me, what strange
effect
Would they worke in milde aspect?
Whiles you chid me, I did
loue,
How then might your praiers moue?
He that brings this loue to
thee,
Little knowes this Loue in me:
And by him seale vp thy
minde,
Whether that thy youth and kinde
Will the faithfull offer
take
Of me, and all that I can make,
Or else by him my loue denie,
And
then Ile studie how to die
Sil. Call you this chiding?
Cel. Alas poore
Shepheard
Ros. Doe you pitty him? No, he deserues no pitty:
wilt thou
loue such a woman? what to make thee an instrument,
and play false straines
vpon thee? not to be endur'd.
Well, goe your way to her; (for I see Loue
hath
made thee a tame snake) and say this to her; That if she
loue me, I
charge her to loue thee: if she will not, I will
neuer haue her, vnlesse thou
intreat for her: if you bee a
true louer hence, and not a word; for here
comes more
company.
Exit. Sil.
Enter Oliuer.
Oliu. Good morrow, faire ones: pray you, (if you | know)
Where in
the Purlews of this Forrest, stands
A sheep-coat, fenc'd about with
Oliue-trees
Cel. West of this place, down in the neighbor bottom
The
ranke of Oziers, by the murmuring streame
Left on your right hand, brings you
to the place:
But at this howre, the house doth keepe it selfe,
There's
none within
Oli. If that an eye may profit by a tongue,
Then should I
know you by description,
Such garments, and such yeeres: the boy is
faire,
Of femall fauour, and bestowes himselfe
Like a ripe sister: the
woman low
And browner then her brother: are not you
The owner of the house
I did enquire for?
Cel. It is no boast, being ask'd, to say we are
Oli. Orlando doth commend him to you both,
And to that youth
hee calls his Rosalind,
He sends this bloudy napkin; are you he?
Ros. I am: what must we vnderstand by this?
Oli. Some of my shame, if
you will know of me
What man I am, and how, and why, and where
This
handkercher was stain'd
Cel. I pray you tell it
Oli. When last the yong Orlando parted from you,
He left a
promise to returne againe
Within an houre, and pacing through the
Forrest,
Chewing the food of sweet and bitter fancie,
Loe what befell: he
threw his eye aside,
And marke what obiect did present it selfe
Vnder an
old Oake, whose bows were moss'd with age
And high top, bald with drie
antiquitie:
A wretched ragged man, ore-growne with haire
Lay sleeping on
his back; about his necke
A greene and guilded snake had wreath'd it
selfe,
Who with her head, nimble in threats approach'd
The opening of his
mouth: but sodainly
Seeing Orlando, it vnlink'd it selfe,
And with
indented glides, did slip away
Into a bush, vnder which bushes shade
A
Lyonnesse, with vdders all drawne drie,
Lay cowching head on ground, with
catlike watch
When that the sleeping man should stirre; for 'tis
The
royall disposition of that beast
To prey on nothing, that doth seeme as
dead:
This seene, Orlando did approach the man,
And found it was his
brother, his elder brother
Cel. O I haue heard him speake of that same brother,
And he
did render him the most vnnaturall
That liu'd amongst men
Oli. And well he might so doe,
For well I know he was
vnnaturall
Ros. But to Orlando: did he leaue him there
Food to the
suck'd and hungry Lyonnesse?
Oli. Twice did he turne his backe, and
purpos'd so:
But kindnesse, nobler euer then reuenge,
And Nature stronger
then his iust occasion,
Made him giue battell to the Lyonnesse:
Who
quickly fell before him, in which hurtling
From miserable slumber I
awaked
Cel. Are you his brother?
Ros. Was't you he
rescu'd?
Cel. Was't you that did so oft contriue to kill
him?
Oli. 'Twas I: but 'tis not I: I doe not shame
To tell you what
I was, since my conuersion
So sweetly tastes, being the thing I am
Ros. But for the bloody napkin?
Oli. By and
by:
When from the first to last betwixt vs two,
Teares our recountments
had most kindely bath'd,
As how I came into that Desert place.
In briefe,
he led me to the gentle Duke,
Who gaue me fresh aray, and
entertainment,
Committing me vnto my brothers loue,
Who led me instantly
vnto his Caue,
There stript himselfe, and heere vpon his arme
The
Lyonnesse had torne some flesh away,
Which all this while had bled; and now
he fainted,
And cride in fainting vpon Rosalinde.
Briefe, I recouer'd him,
bound vp his wound,
And after some small space, being strong at heart,
He
sent me hither, stranger as I am
To tell this story, that you might
excuse
His broken promise, and to giue this napkin
Died in this bloud,
vnto the Shepheard youth,
That he in sport doth call his Rosalind
Cel. Why how now Ganimed, sweet Ganimed
Oli. Many will swoon when they do look on bloud
Cel. There is more in it; Cosen Ganimed
Oli. Looke, he recouers
Ros. I would I were at home
Cel. Wee'll lead you thither:
I pray you will you take him by
the arme
Oli. Be of good cheere youth: you a man?
You lacke a mans
heart
Ros. I doe so, I confesse it:
Ah, sirra, a body would thinke
this was well counterfeited,
I pray you tell your brother how well I
counterfeited:
heigh-ho
Oli. This was not counterfeit, there is too great
testimony
in your complexion, that it was a passion of earnest
Ros. Counterfeit, I assure you
Oli. Well then, take a good heart, and counterfeit to
be a
man
Ros. So I doe: but yfaith, I should haue beene a woman
by
right
Cel. Come, you looke paler and paler: pray you
draw
homewards: good sir, goe with vs
Oli. That will I: for I must beare answere backe
How you
excuse my brother, Rosalind
Ros. I shall deuise something: but I pray you commend
my
counterfeiting to him: will you goe?
Exeunt.
Actus Quintus. Scena Prima.
Enter Clowne and Awdrie.
Clow. We shall finde a time Awdrie, patience gentle
Awdrie
Awd. Faith the Priest was good enough, for all the
olde
gentlemans saying
Clow. A most wicked Sir Oliuer, Awdrie, a most vile
Mar-text.
But Awdrie, there is a youth heere in the
Forrest layes claime to you
Awd. I, I know who 'tis: he hath no interest in mee
in the
world: here comes the man you meane.
Enter William.
Clo. It is meat and drinke to me to see a Clowne, by
my troth, we
that haue good wits, haue much to answer
for: we shall be flouting: we cannot
hold
Will. Good eu'n Audrey
Aud. God ye good eu'n William
Will. And good eu'n to you Sir
Clo. Good eu'n gentle friend. Couer thy head, couer
thy head:
Nay prethee bee couer'd. How olde are you
Friend?
Will. Fiue and
twentie Sir
Clo. A ripe age: Is thy name William?
Will. William,
sir
Clo. A faire name. Was't borne i'th Forrest heere?
Will. I sir, I thanke God
Clo. Thanke God: A good answer:
Art rich?
Will.
'Faith sir, so, so
Cle. So, so, is good, very good, very excellent good:
and yet
it is not, it is but so, so:
Art thou wise?
Will. I sir, I haue a
prettie wit
Clo. Why, thou saist well. I do now remember a saying:
The
Foole doth thinke he is wise, but the wiseman
knowes himselfe to be a Foole.
The Heathen Philosopher,
when he had a desire to eate a Grape, would
open
his lips when he put it into his mouth, meaning thereby,
that Grapes
were made to eate, and lippes to open.
You do loue this maid?
Will.
I do sir
Clo. Giue me your hand: Art thou Learned?
Will. No
sir
Clo. Then learne this of me, To haue, is to haue. For
it is a
figure in Rhetoricke, that drink being powr'd out
of a cup into a glasse, by
filling the one, doth empty the
other. For all your Writers do consent, that
ipse is hee:
now you are not ipse, for I am he
Will. Which he sir?
Clo. He sir, that must marrie this
woman: Therefore
you Clowne, abandon: which is in the vulgar, leaue
the
societie: which in the boorish, is companie, of this female:
which in
the common, is woman: which together,
is, abandon the society of this Female,
or Clowne
thou perishest: or to thy better vnderstanding, dyest; or
(to
wit) I kill thee, make thee away, translate thy life into
death, thy libertie
into bondage: I will deale in poyson
with thee, or in bastinado, or in
steele: I will bandy
with thee in faction, I will ore-run thee with policie:
I
will kill thee a hundred and fifty wayes, therefore tremble
and
depart
Aud. Do good William
Will. God rest you merry sir.
Exit
Enter Corin.
Cor. Our Master and Mistresse seekes you: come away,
away
Clo. Trip Audry, trip Audry, I attend,
I attend.
Exeunt.
Scoena Secunda.
Enter Orlando & Oliuer.
Orl. Is't possible, that on so little acquaintance you
should like
her? that, but seeing, you should loue her?
And louing woo? and wooing, she
should graunt? And
will you perseuer to enioy her?
Ol. Neither call
the giddinesse of it in question; the
pouertie of her, the small
acquaintance, my sodaine woing,
nor sodaine consenting: but say with mee, I
loue
Aliena: say with her, that she loues mee; consent with
both, that we
may enioy each other: it shall be to your
good: for my fathers house, and all
the reuennew, that
was old Sir Rowlands will I estate vpon you, and
heere
liue and die a Shepherd.
Enter Rosalind.
Orl. You haue my consent.
Let your Wedding be to morrow: thither
will I
Inuite the Duke, and all's contented followers:
Go you, and prepare
Aliena; for looke you,
Heere comes my Rosalinde
Ros. God saue you brother
Ol. And you faire sister
Ros. Oh my deere Orlando, how it greeues me to see
thee weare
thy heart in a scarfe
Orl. It is my arme
Ros. I thought thy heart had beene wounded with
the clawes of
a Lion
Orl. Wounded it is, but with the eyes of a Lady
Ros. Did your brother tell you how I counterfeyted
to sound,
when he shew'd me your handkercher?
Orl. I, and greater wonders then
that
Ros. O, I know where you are: nay, tis true: there
was neuer
any thing so sodaine, but the sight of two
Rammes, and Cesars Thrasonicall
bragge of I came, saw,
and ouercome. For your brother, and my sister, no
sooner
met, but they look'd: no sooner look'd, but they
lou'd; no sooner
lou'd, but they sigh'd: no sooner sigh'd
but they ask'd one another the
reason: no sooner knew
the reason, but they sought the remedie: and in
these
degrees, haue they made a paire of staires to marriage,
which they
will climbe incontinent, or else bee incontinent
before marriage; they are in
the verie wrath of
loue, and they will together. Clubbes cannot
part
them
Orl. They shall be married to morrow: and I will
bid the Duke
to the Nuptiall. But O, how bitter a thing
it is, to looke into happines
through another mans eies:
by so much the more shall I to morrow be at the
height
of heart heauinesse, by how much I shal thinke my brother
happie,
in hauing what he wishes for
Ros. Why then to morrow, I cannot serue your turne
for
Rosalind?
Orl. I can liue no longer by thinking
Ros. I will wearie you then no longer with idle talking.
Know
of me then (for now I speake to some purpose)
that I know you are a Gentleman
of good conceit:
I speake not this, that you should beare a good
opinion
of my knowledge: insomuch (I say) I know you are: neither
do I
labor for a greater esteeme then may in some
little measure draw a beleefe
from you, to do your selfe
good, and not to grace me. Beleeue then, if you
please,
that I can do strange things: I haue since I was three
yeare old
conuerst with a Magitian, most profound in
his Art, and yet not damnable. If
you do loue Rosalinde
so neere the hart, as your gesture cries it out: when
your
brother marries Aliena, shall you marrie her. I know into
what
straights of Fortune she is driuen, and it is not
impossible to me, if it
appeare not inconuenient to you,
to set her before your eyes to morrow,
humane as she is,
and without any danger
Orl. Speak'st thou in sober meanings?
Ros. By my life
I do, which I tender deerly, though
I say I am a Magitian: Therefore put you
in your best aray,
bid your friends: for if you will be married to
morrow,
you shall: and to Rosalind if you will.
Enter Siluius &
Phebe.
Looke, here comes a Louer of mine, and a louer of hers
Phe. Youth, you haue done me much vngentlenesse,
To shew the
letter that I writ to you
Ros. I care not if I haue: it is my studie
To seeme
despightfull and vngentle to you:
you are there followed by a faithful
shepheard,
Looke vpon him, loue him: he worships you
Phe. Good shepheard, tell this youth what 'tis to loue
Sil. It is to be all made of sighes and teares,
And so am I for Phebe
Phe. And I for Ganimed
Orl. And I for Rosalind
Ros. And I for no woman
Sil. It is to be all made of faith and seruice,
And so am I
for Phebe
Phe. And I for Ganimed
Orl. And I for Rosalind
Ros. And I for no woman
Sil. It is to be all made of fantasie,
All made of passion,
and all made of wishes,
All adoration, dutie, and obseruance,
All
humblenesse, all patience, and impatience,
All puritie, all triall, all
obseruance:
And so am I for Phebe
Phe. And so am I for Ganimed
Orl. And so am I for Rosalind
Ros. And so am I for no woman
Phe. If this be so, why blame you me to loue you?
Sil.
If this be so, why blame you me to loue you?
Orl. If this be so, why
blame you me to loue you?
Ros. Why do you speake too, Why blame you
mee
to loue you
Orl. To her, that is not heere, nor doth not heare
Ros. Pray you no more of this, 'tis like the howling
of Irish
Wolues against the Moone: I will helpe you
if I can: I would loue you if I
could: To morrow meet
me altogether: I wil marrie you, if euer I marrie
Woman,
and Ile be married to morrow: I will satisfie you,
if euer I
satisfi'd man, and you shall bee married to morrow.
I wil content you, if
what pleases you contents
you, and you shal be married to morrow: As you
loue
Rosalind meet, as you loue Phebe meet, and as I loue no
woman, Ile
meet: so fare you wel: I haue left you commands
Sil. Ile not faile, if I liue
Phe. Nor I
Orl. Nor I.
Exeunt.
Scoena Tertia.
Enter Clowne and Audrey.
Clo. To morrow is the ioyfull day Audrey, to morow
will we be
married
Aud. I do desire it with all my heart: and I hope it is
no
dishonest desire, to desire to be a woman of y world?
Heere come two of the
banish'd Dukes Pages.
Enter two Pages.
1.Pa. Wel met honest Gentleman
Clo. By my troth well met: come, sit, sit, and a song
2.Pa. We are for you, sit i'th middle
1.Pa. Shal we clap into't roundly, without hauking,
or
spitting, or saying we are hoarse, which are the onely
prologues to a bad
voice
2.Pa. I faith, y'faith, and both in a tune like two
gipsies
on a horse.
Song.
It was a Louer, and his lasse,
With a hey, and a ho, and a hey
nonino,
That o're the greene corne feild did passe,
In the spring time,
the onely pretty rang time.
When Birds do sing, hey ding a ding,
ding.
Sweet Louers loue the spring,
And therefore take the present
time.
With a hey, & a ho, and a hey nonino,
For loue is crowned with
the prime.
In spring time, &c.
Betweene the acres of the Rie,
With
a hey, and a ho, & a hey nonino:
These prettie Country folks would
lie.
In spring time, &c.
This Carroll they began that houre,
With a
hey and a ho, & a hey nonino:
How that a life was but a Flower,
In
spring time, &c
Clo. Truly yong Gentlemen, though there was no
great matter
in the dittie, yet y note was very vntunable
1.Pa. you are deceiu'd
Sir, we kept time, we lost not
our time
Clo. By my troth yes: I count it but time lost to heare
such
a foolish song. God buy you, and God mend your
voices. Come Audrie.
Exeunt.
Scena Quarta.
Enter Duke Senior, Amyens, Iaques, Orlando, Oliuer, Celia.
Du.Sen. Dost thou beleeue Orlando, that the boy
Can do all this
that he hath promised?
Orl. I sometimes do beleeue, and somtimes do
not,
As those that feare they hope, and know they feare.
Enter Rosalinde,
Siluius, & Phebe.
Ros. Patience once more, whiles our co[m]pact is vrg'd:
You say, if
I bring in your Rosalinde,
You wil bestow her on Orlando heere?
Du.Se. That would I, had I kingdoms to giue with hir
Ros. And you say you wil haue her, when I bring hir?
Orl. That would I, were I of all kingdomes King
Ros. You say, you'l marrie me, if I be willing
Phe. That will I, should I die the houre after
Ros. But if you do refuse to marrie me,
You'l giue your selfe
to this most faithfull Shepheard
Phe. So is the bargaine
Ros. You say that you'l haue Phebe if she will
Sil. Though to haue her and death, were both one
thing
Ros. I haue promis'd to make all this matter euen:
Keepe you
your word, O Duke, to giue your daughter,
You yours Orlando, to receiue his
daughter:
Keepe you your word Phebe, that you'l marrie me,
Or else
refusing me to wed this shepheard:
Keepe your word Siluius, that you'l marrie
her
If she refuse me, and from hence I go
To make these doubts all
euen.
Exit Ros. and Celia.
Du.Sen. I do remember in this shepheard boy,
Some liuely touches of
my daughters fauour
Orl. My Lord, the first time that I euer saw him,
Me thought
he was a brother to your daughter:
But my good Lord, this Boy is Forrest
borne,
And hath bin tutor'd in the rudiments
Of many desperate studies, by
his vnckle,
Whom he reports to be a great Magitian.
Enter Clowne and
Audrey.
Obscured in the circle of this Forrest
Iaq. There is sure another flood toward, and these
couples
are comming to the Arke. Here comes a payre
of verie strange beasts, which in
all tongues, are call'd
Fooles
Clo. Salutation and greeting to you all
Iaq. Good my Lord, bid him welcome: This is the
Motley-minded
Gentleman, that I haue so often met in
the Forrest: he hath bin a Courtier he
sweares
Clo. If any man doubt that, let him put mee to my
purgation,
I haue trod a measure, I haue flattred a Lady,
I haue bin politicke with my
friend, smooth with mine
enemie, I haue vndone three Tailors, I haue had
foure
quarrels, and like to haue fought one
Iaq. And how was that tane vp?
Clo. 'Faith we met, and
found the quarrel was vpon
the seuenth cause
Iaq. How seuenth cause? Good my Lord, like this
fellow
Du.Se. I like him very well
Clo. God'ild you sir, I desire you of the like: I presse
in
heere sir, amongst the rest of the Country copulatiues
to sweare, and to
forsweare, according as mariage binds
and blood breakes: a poore virgin sir,
an il-fauor'd thing
sir, but mine owne, a poore humour of mine sir, to
take
that that no man else will: rich honestie dwels like a miser
sir, in
a poore house, as your Pearle in your foule oyster
Du.Se. By my faith, he is very swift, and sententious
Clo. According to the fooles bolt sir, and such dulcet
diseases
Iaq. But for the seuenth cause. How did you finde
the
quarrell on the seuenth cause?
Clo. Vpon a lye, seuen times remoued:
(beare your
bodie more seeming Audry) as thus sir: I did dislike the
cut
of a certaine Courtiers beard: he sent me word, if I
said his beard was not
cut well, hee was in the minde it
was: this is call'd the retort courteous.
If I sent him
word againe, it was not well cut, he wold send me word
he
cut it to please himselfe: this is call'd the quip modest.
If againe, it was
not well cut, he disabled my iudgment:
this is called, the reply churlish. If
againe it was not well
cut, he would answer I spake not true: this is call'd
the
reproofe valiant. If againe, it was not well cut, he wold
say, I lie:
this is call'd the counter-checke quarrelsome:
and so to lye circumstantiall,
and the lye direct
Iaq. And how oft did you say his beard was not
well
cut?
Clo. I durst go no further then the lye
circumstantial:
nor he durst not giue me the lye direct: and so wee
measur'd
swords, and parted
Iaq. Can you nominate in order now, the degrees of
the
lye
Clo. O sir, we quarrel in print, by the booke: as you
haue
bookes for good manners: I will name you the degrees.
The first, the Retort
courteous: the second, the
Quip-modest: the third, the reply Churlish: the
fourth,
the Reproofe valiant: the fift, the Counterchecke quarrelsome:
the
sixt, the Lye with circumstance: the seauenth,
the Lye direct: all these you
may auoyd, but the
Lye direct: and you may auoide that too, with an If.
I
knew when seuen Iustices could not take vp a Quarrell,
but when the
parties were met themselues, one of them
thought but of an If; as if you
saide so, then I saide so:
and they shooke hands, and swore brothers. Your
If, is
the onely peace-maker: much vertue in if
Iaq. Is not this a rare fellow my Lord? He's as good
at any
thing, and yet a foole
Du.Se. He vses his folly like a stalking-horse, and vnder
the
presentation of that he shoots his wit.
Enter Hymen, Rosalind, and Celia.
Still Musicke.
Hymen. Then is there mirth in heauen,
When earthly things made
eauen
attone together.
Good Duke receiue thy daughter,
Hymen from
Heauen brought her,
Yea brought her hether.
That thou mightst ioyne his
hand with his,
Whose heart within his bosome is
Ros. To you I giue my selfe, for I am yours.
To you I giue my
selfe, for I am yours
Du.Se. If there be truth in sight, you are my daughter
Orl. If there be truth in sight, you are my Rosalind
Phe. If sight & shape be true, why then my loue
adieu
Ros. Ile haue no Father, if you be not he:
Ile haue no
Husband, if you be not he:
Nor ne're wed woman, if you be not shee
Hy. Peace hoa: I barre confusion,
'Tis I must make
conclusion
Of these most strange euents:
Here's eight that must take
hands,
To ioyne in Hymens bands,
If truth holds true contents.
You and
you, no crosse shall part;
You and you, are hart in hart:
You, to his loue
must accord,
Or haue a Woman to your Lord.
You and you, are sure
together,
As the Winter to fowle Weather:
Whiles a Wedlocke Hymne we
sing,
Feede your selues with questioning:
That reason, wonder may
diminish
How thus we met, and these things finish.
Song.
Wedding is great Iunos crowne,
O blessed bond of boord and bed:
'Tis
Hymen peoples euerie towne,
High wedlock then be honored:
Honor, high
honor and renowne
To Hymen, God of euerie Towne
Du.Se. O my deere Neece, welcome thou art to me,
Euen
daughter welcome, in no lesse degree
Phe. I wil not eate my word, now thou art mine,
Thy faith, my
fancie to thee doth combine.
Enter Second Brother.
2.Bro. Let me haue audience for a word or two:
I am the second
sonne of old Sir Rowland,
That bring these tidings to this faire
assembly.
Duke Frederick hearing how that euerie day
Men of great worth
resorted to this forrest,
Addrest a mightie power, which were on foote
In
his owne conduct, purposely to take
His brother heere, and put him to the
sword:
And to the skirts of this wilde Wood he came;
Where, meeting with
an old Religious man,
After some question with him, was conuerted
Both
from his enterprize, and from the world:
His crowne bequeathing to his
banish'd Brother,
And all their Lands restor'd to him againe
That were
with him exil'd. This to be true,
I do engage my life
Du.Se. Welcome yong man:
Thou offer'st fairely to thy
brothers wedding:
To one his lands with-held, and to the other
A land it
selfe at large, a potent Dukedome.
First, in this Forrest, let vs do those
ends
That heere were well begun, and wel begot:
And after, euery of this
happie number
That haue endur'd shrew'd daies, and nights with vs,
Shal
share the good of our returned fortune,
According to the measure of their
states.
Meane time, forget this new-falne dignitie,
And fall into our
Rusticke Reuelrie:
Play Musicke, and you Brides and Bride-groomes
all,
With measure heap'd in ioy, to'th Measures fall
Iaq. Sir, by your patience: if I heard you rightly,
The Duke
hath put on a Religious life,
And throwne into neglect the pompous Court
2.Bro. He hath
Iaq. To him will I: out of these conuertites,
There is much
matter to be heard, and learn'd:
you to your former Honor, I bequeath
your
patience, and your vertue, well deserues it.
you to a loue, that your true
faith doth merit:
you to your land, and loue, and great allies:
you to a
long, and well-deserued bed:
And you to wrangling, for thy louing
voyage
Is but for two moneths victuall'd: So to your pleasures,
I am for
other, then for dancing meazures
Du.Se. Stay, Iaques, stay
Iaq. To see no pastime, I: what you would haue,
Ile stay to
know, at your abandon'd caue.
Enter.
Du.Se. Proceed, proceed: wee'l begin these rights,
As we do trust,
they'l end in true delights.
Exit
Ros. It is not the fashion to see the Ladie the Epilogue:
but it is
no more vnhandsome, then to see the
Lord the Prologue. If it be true, that
good wine needs
no bush, 'tis true, that a good play needes no
Epilogue.
Yet to good wine they do vse good bushes: and good
playes proue
the better by the helpe of good Epilogues:
What a case am I in then, that am
neither a good Epilogue,
nor cannot insinuate with you in the behalfe of
a
good play? I am not furnish'd like a Begger, therefore
to begge will not
become mee. My way is to coniure
you, and Ile begin with the Women. I charge
you (O
women) for the loue you beare to men, to like as much
of this Play,
as please you: And I charge you (O men)
for the loue you beare to women (as I
perceiue by your
simpring, none of you hates them) that betweene you,
and
the women, the play may please. If I were a Woman,
I would kisse as many of
you as had beards that
pleas'd me, complexions that lik'd me, and breaths
that
I defi'de not: And I am sure, as many as haue good
beards, or good
faces, or sweet breaths, will for my kind
offer, when I make curt'sie, bid me
farewell.
Enter.
FINIS. As you Like it.